Post # 1
I just want to throw something out to see how many agree…
Is the word Rude used way too much on the boards? I am seeing it used quite a bit in response to other posts. Is something truly rude or is it rude because it is something you and your circle wouldn’t do?
There are many different brides on this board; from different cultures, ethnicities, countries. Being different isn’t rude. It’s just, well…different. It wouldn’t hurt to embrace some diversity.
Post # 3
I think it’s used waaay too often and most of the time something that really isn’t that bad is exaggerated and made out to be omg the most rude thing ever.
Post # 4
I have not noticed the word “rude” thrown around in the manner you are mentioning. Alot of things that have “rude” attached are breaches of etiquette that will offend guests. Something being done in your social circle, or that isn’t, that someone else considers taboo in theirs is something else entirely. The word that I have seen thrown around much more, and not even used in the proper context (which there isn’t one), is “tacky”. Everything is “tacky” just because people don’t like what it is that it’s describing but no one cares who they’re possibly hurting when they type it. Otherwise you may as well just toss out every single etiquette book and do your own thing. Alot of people already have and don’t care one bit that tons of people were raised a certain way (to follow proper etiquette), especially the older generations, and thus legitimately feel that certain things should not be done to prevent offending others around them. The current generation as a whole does not care and does their own thing, regardless of how it affects anyone except themselves.
The diversity of cultures, etc is also an entirely different matter that people here do embrace. What is acceptable in one culture or social circle in taboo in another. But posters tend to think that all things should either be taboo or accepted, which doesn’t work in reality.
Do you have a better word to suggest for describing a breach of etiquette? Even if you did, you can’t force other people to change if they don’t want to, and alot of people tend to be really set in their ways when it comes to that type of thing.
Post # 5
I’ve definitely noticed that it’s been used a lot more lately in posts on the board. I think in majority of cases it’s a genuine case of thinking something is “rude” – whatever “rude” may be to that person considering their upbringing, ethnicity and personal experience. I think there’s nothing wrong with saying that you think that the particular thing you’re discussing in the post is rude, providing you and the rest of WB realize that it’s only rude IN YOUR EYES. After all, tacky is only in the eyes of the beholder, as is something that’s rude.
Post # 6
@Ember78: I 100% agree. Etiquette is a set thing. It doesn’t change. It is what is proper and considered in good taste. It’s not old fashioned – it’s the way things should be so that your guests don’t get offended.
Post # 7
I guess the point I’m making is this…using the word “rude” is really harsh. Would anyone like to be told that they’re being rude? As littlemissmoo said, rude is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe instead of tossing “rude” around dismissively, we could just say “It’s something I wouldn’t do because…“.
Post # 8
No one likes being told they are rude but many people would prefer being told that than to have everyone be “yes-men” who sugarcoat everything and then talk behind their backs. I agree that your suggestion for an alternative is great but unfortunately you can’t change folks if they have a habit or preference for certain word choices that are offensive to others so don’t be shocked if it doesn’t catch on as you would like.
Post # 9
Post # 10
@Shaydenise, you are definitely in the minority with that view. Online, people have the mindset that they can do whatever they want, everyone else be damned and “people are wrong when they say etiquette can’t change, because it’s outdated and no one follows it anymore, but tradition can’t be changed at all because people will be offended”. But in real life, people actually care about etiquette, surprisingly enough. There will still be some who don’t but they are in the minority and viewed in a bad light. Also surprising is the number of people who believe that etiquette and tradition are interchangeable, when they are not.
Another thing that you cannot use in any argument is the mindset of “if they were truly offended, they would tell us but because they didn’t say anything, we know for 100% fact that they liked our idea”. No they wouldn’t because it is improper and their mothers and grandmothers would tar and feather them if they did.