This is tricky. A few things here……
You say “As for beliefs, our are very similar-but as for outward appearance they are not“. I would encourage you to dig much much much much deeper into how your beliefs are similar and how they are not similar.
Take a bible study class. If you can find one that infuses modern day scenarios with biblical teaching that would be ideal… as it will give you an idea of how you each apply your relgious beliefs to every day real-world situations.
Specifically, discuss each of your views on the primary principles of the Pentecostal religious doctorine: what are your thoughts on speaking in tongues and divine healing, what are your beliefs on the importance of baptism with the holy spirit and/or being “born again”. What are your thoughts on divine healing and laying on of hands? What is your individual committment to biblical authority?
More important than how you each are similar or different in your thoughts on the above topics…. but how distirbuing is it to the other person if there is a difference in a core belief?
Remember that *charasmatic* religions have a literal view of the bible and believe it to be infallible, therefore their value structure and behaviors are much less *flexible* than a religion with a figurative view of the bible. Which means, if it says it in the bible, it is so….. and it’s generally not up for debate or interpretation.
“non-denominational”, and even some more liberal baptist churches are not as literal. There is room for interpretation.
You said “i’ve never once looked at someone and said whether I thought they would end up in heaven or hell because of their outward appearance, because for me I believe its about your heart“. They believe that as well. This is actually the core of their belief, but they believe that your outward appearance is a *reflection* of your belief, as well as your view of the bible and religious doctorine.
So – it’s not as if you “have” to change your outward appearance….. but the sign that you are filled with the holy spirit and a believer will be your willingness to submit to biblical authority. That is probably one of the most major differences, in my opinion.
Like I said, this is a tricky one. I think it would require MUCH searching to determine if I share these core beliefs…. this is about MORE than just are you willing to go along with it. This is about doctorine and how it is lived. This would not be something that I would be willing to compromise on….. so I encourage you to be exteremly dilligent in your research of this religion.