Post # 1
So I am going to my sisters Batchloette party to Napa Valley. She is expecting everyone to pay for her and i just think thats really rude. You should know that she planned this get away. i have already spent over 700 on airfare and hotel. She is also having another party here closer to the wedding date. with all of this i was wondering what i should do now. i have already told her that this trip is getting more and more expensive and she told me that i didnt have to go and this is proper for the bride not to pay. i also think its proper for her to only have 1 party and she should not have picked such and expensive destination.
also when i brought my ticket i was told this is just an reason to have a girl trip because her husband to be is going to vegas with the boys.
Post # 3
It is actually very common to pay for the bride at the bachelorette party. But if they choose an expensive one then it’s ok to say that’s too much for you and to not go.
Post # 4
While in most cases the Bridal Party will pitch in and pay for the bride – it is not required nor should be expected.
Are you the MOH? If so, I would talk to her other BMs to see what everyone is comfortable pitching in and discussing if splitting the cost was a viable option & it not, then the Maid/Matron of Honor should inform your sister.
Post # 5
I agree with you. Normally, she wouldn’t have to pay but for a trip, she should pay for herself. And if she planned it- she should definitely pay for herself. My girls and I are going to Vegas and I don’t expect them to spend a penny on me because they already paid 200$ for airfare + spending money (our hotel is free becasue we have a time share).. $700 is really expensive!
Post # 6
I know that it can be considered tradition to pay for the bride, but we’re also doing an expensive trip to New Orleans. I do NOT expect my bridesmaids to pay, and honestly I would be uncomfortable doing so. I think you should talk to her.
Post # 7
Just tell her that its more than what you can afford and you are already strecthed thin with your finances
Post # 8
Every bachelorette party I have ever gone to the guests and BM’s pay for the bride. The party is for her so she shouldn’t have to pay. The cost is buildt in for mine for example for who ever choses to come and they are all told that upfront.
Post # 9
I’m having mine in Austin and my girls are all over the country. They are paying for some things but I have paid for others. I believe they are paying for the hotel for the two nights we are together and probably drinks at the bar. The rest I am planning on paying for or have paid for already (including my own airfare). I don’t think it’s right to make them pay so much when it’s a destination bachelorette party.
Post # 10
I’m having a destination bachelorette and I paid for my own flight. My Maid/Matron of Honor surprised me and is paying for my share of the hotel. The only thing I kind of expect all the girls to pay for is one night out (dinner/drinks). At the very least I think your sister should be paying for her flight.
Post # 11
OK first of all… she was way out of line planning her own bachelorette party. Second of all she was SUPER out of line for making it an expensive trip away. I just don’t even know what to say about that fact that she is now TELLING you that she expects you all to pay for it. You need to tell her she’s out of her mind. I would never request a destination bachelorette. If my girls had decided on their own that they wanted to plan one I would have gone, but I would have never allowed them to pay for my travel expensives. I think drinks and dinner are the only things the bride should expect her BM’s to cover. And even then you don’t ask for it! If no one offers to pay for you then you pay for yourself. End of story.
Post # 12
Generally, bridesmaids treat the bride. That’s because generally they are the ones planning the party. If you do the planning, you do the paying.
The bride should not be planning her own bachelorette party in the first place. If the bridesmaids want to plan and pay for one (which is totally optional and not a “duty”), it’s up to them to plan and pay for what they can afford.
Post # 13
I am not the Maid/Matron of Honor but i am in the Bridal Party. LGenz I completly argee with you i was planning on treating for one night dinner and drinks. she is also planning a wine tasting the next day she wants to rent a limo and and hit a bunch on winerys. in napa valley it like 70 bucks a tasting plus the limo. i was talking to her and she had said something that gave me the impressions she expected to not pay again. i am just getting upset because she is picking the most expensive things to do and then she expects to be treated. would it be rude to ask for a seperate check when we go out to eat we are going to be there for 5 days and i really cant afford to treat for 5 days. Talishazwi i have already paid for my plane ticket and hotel. and again i did not know she was making this trip her bachelorette party. she is having one when we get back closer to her wedding date
Post # 14
I agree with the others in that usually the BMs and Maid/Matron of Honor split the cost since they plan the party. Since your sister planned this whole thing I don’t think it’s fair of her to expect for her trip to be covered. Maybe speak to the other girls and see what they think but in the end I think you will have to be honest with your sister and tell her that it’s too much for you.