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I'd probably talk it over with my FI and see what he thinks his mom would be receptive to the idea or not and go from there. I def agree, that is a monster guest list for a shower and better split up. Another avenue you could go is have your friends throw you a seperate one and the other with the family maybe?
I would not ask my FMIL if she wants to host a shower. That puts her on the spot -- if she wants to host one, she'd offer.
I'd just cut your guest list. The shower is more for people who are really close to you, I think. Close friends, immediate family, that kind of thing...
90 is way too many guests for a shower. I would ask them to find some cutoff point that works to keep the guest list to 30-40 women.
It would not be polite for you to ask your FI's Mom to host a shower. Your FI however, could ask his family if they were planning on hosting a shower for you.
I would also not be comfortable with my Mom co-hosting my shower. I would ask the aunt to be the hostess, but your Mom could help as much as she wants.
Jesus, 90 people?! I am inviting 30 and think thats way too much! Cut your guest list significantly! If possible split it into 3. 1 by your aunt for your family, 1 by one of your girl friends for your friends and IF fi's mom offers, 1 from her for her side of the family.
I agree, I wouldn't ask my FMIL to host a shower in my honor.
Maybe you could have your fiance ask his mom if they are planning anything because your mom & aunt are trying to work out a guest list and don't want to invite people to 2 showers. If she says she's not planning anything, I think your only option is to cut your guest list some how. If she is planning to throw one, then your problem is solved without the faux pas of asking someone for a shower in your honor!
Do not ask your FMIL to throw you a shower, that is not polite.
Talk to your Mom and Aunt about the guest list and see what cuts you can make. Remember, not every female invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the shower.
I agree that you need to cut your guest list. Draw a line somewhere, like just close friends and immediate family.
Don't forget that if you KNOW someone who can't make it to the wedding IS on the list for the party! Bridal party, siblings, cousins, aunts, grandmothers and best friends/special guests. If that DOES equal 90 for you, cut it down to JUST family and then one for JUST friends! Children don't need to be there unless nursing, imo.
Yikes! I had a friend who had 70 people at her shower...they were ALL of her mother's friends. Worse, her mother asked the BM (I was a BM) to pay $350.00/person to accomodate this at a restaurant. I'm still very angry to this day about it.
I am inviting 30-40 people...bridal party, SO's of groomsman, my aunts and female cousins and I have asked my FMIL if there is anyone she thinks I should invite. Luckily, I have a small family and most of his is out of state but 90 people!? A shower isn't a wedding!
Actually, if they're already planning to throw the showers, I don't see anything wrong with proposing a split - say if one person wanted one part of the guest list, and the other person the other. But that sure is a lot of people.
You really have 90 close female friends and family members? I mean, could be but I think sometimes people think they have to invite all female wedding guests and really it should be immediate family and close friends.
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My mother and my aunt have offered to host my bridal shower this summer. My MOHs are my two younger sisters(both in college still), so my mom and aunt will be hosting and taking care of food, with my sisters being incharge of the party, games, favors, etc. The problem is with the size of my guest list. I was planning to have my side and my fiance's side at one shower, but the guest list is nearly 90 people! I feel like this is way too big! I would not want to be at a shower that big, so I am sure my guests wouldnt want to either. The gift opening alone would take forever!
Should I ask my future mother in law if she would like to host one for that side of the family? I would hate asking for a party, or dividing families like that, but the list is so big! I am not inviting extra people, we just both have quite large families. Any suggestions on how to proceed???