BD'ing advice for FI…!

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
4440 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yes, totally normal! I would just tell him, do what makes you comfortable.  Leave it at that, and let the ball be in his court.

It’s no fun if you both aren’t enjoying yourselves….and don’t think of it as BD when you are in fact BD…do it all the time, even outside of your window.

Post # 4
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@whybee:  My DH didn’t react that way the first time we BD’d with the intent to actually make a baby, but I can certainly understand why he would feel that way. It can be a pretty intimidating thought!

Like PP said, it’s not good if you aren’t both enjoying yourself, so just relax and make sure HE feels special in the process too. It may be to make a baby, but it should be just as relaxed and fun as it usually is.

Post # 5
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

OP, I’m probably the last one to try and give advice, since SO and I are a long ways off from marriage and TTC. Heck, we’re also waiting til marriage to have sex, but I would be lying if I haven’t at least thought about TTC in the future. The way I see it, I will eventually be on BC and stay on it until we decide if/when we want to TTC (still a little on the fence, haha!) Even with BC, there will always be that little niggling worry of “What if it fails? These things are only 99% effective, so what if I just get unlucky?!” Once a couple decides to go off BC and TTC, I would see that as a huge weight off their shoulders to just go for it and enjoy physical intimacy in a way that they probably haven’t before.

I would tell your FI not to think too hard about it and to just enjoy this special, unique phase of your relationship. Once you do conceive, you’ll enter yet another new phase of the relationship, so just enjoy every minute of the present. Good luck, OP! 😀

Post # 6
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@whybee:  hey do you chart at all? The reason I ask is because I anticipate this being a problem with my DH as well. after so long trying to avoid I feel like its going to be a huge mental hurdle to get over not pulling out anymore. Soooo since I’m a charter my plan is to start by pulling the goalie so to speak when I’m post ovulation so I can reassure him that there is no egg and no way we can get knocked up. I feel like this will help him get used to the idea so that then we can transition into my fertile time. (Not that I will tell him specifically when it’s the fertile window but I will know. Too much pressure on him!)

Post # 7
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think this is very common!! I know my DH doesn’t like to be told “I’m ovulating tomorrow, so we have to BD tonight!”  He prefers to leave things as spontaneous (well, what he thinks is spontaneous and is actually planned by me!).  I wouldn’t say anything to him.  Just go about your normal sex patterns for the next couple of weeks and let him get use to the idea of having unprotected sex and TTC.  And have fun! 🙂

Post # 9
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

SO normal!

One of my friend’s husbands kept trying to have sex around her ovulation window. He WANTED a second kid, but he couldn’t make himself “get there” if he knew she was fertile!

They still got KU on the third month of unprotected sex!

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