Post # 1
- Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club
When my friend got engaged she asked me to be her bridesmaid, then a few days later took back her invite. Instead she asked me to be her wedding planner. I’m trying not to be upset about it, but am starting to feel really used and unappreciated.
The bride asked me to get with her bridesmaids to throw an engagement party for them (since I am an “honorary bridesmaid”, I guess I am included in the bridesmaids duties?) however, after the initial meeting, I was kept out of the loop by the bridesmaids. They did ask me to bring some food, so I did. I also took care of a lot of the details that were missed/forgotten on the spot, and did most of the tear down. All night people kept taking credit for everything I did. While I didn’t do anything for recognition, if recognition is going to be given, I don’t like being ignored. Later the bride-to-be thanked her “bridal party” for putting everything together. She called them by name, so it’s not like I was lumped in with the group. Nope; completely ignored. She also gave them little gifts, so I felt completely insignificant.
Is this what I can expect in the future?
I feel like I am being used for financial contribution, clean up, and my creative ideas.
Post # 3
Please excuse the language but you have been asked to be a bridal bitch and there is no honor in this at all. You need to step down.
Post # 4
I would not have accepted being the wedding coordinator. Instead of being given the honorific role of being a bridesmaid, she’s using you as a free vendor. I would have been offended and insulted. I would probably tell your friend that you’re unable to commit to doing all of the coordiantion duties for her wedding, and bow our gracefully.
Post # 5
@Anna10-05-2014: I am sorry that your feelings are hurt. Mine would be too. It is not okay to give someone title of bridesmaid and then say nevermind like you were an afterthought. I would make myself a little less available because it sounds like they are taking advantage of you. You seem to be a great friend and it doesn’t appear she deserves to have you around!
Post # 7
@Anna10-05-2014: you should say no no no. A wedding planner is a full time job! Its a career! Its so out of line to not only unbridesmaid someone but then have the audacity to “honor” you by saying you can plan the wedding? Ugh. Abort mission asap. Unaccept like she uninvited you. Life is too short! Run run run!
Post # 8
Pfft, I wouldnt even “bow out gracefully” I’d just stop talking to her. What a bitch friend.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
+1 to these! Her behavior is offensive and if you don’t back down now, expect to be treated like a turd the rest of the process.
Post # 11
You are being used. I don’t know why she is treating you like this; a true friend doesn’t behave in this manner.
Post # 12
What a bitch. I agree with the PP jump ship now.
Post # 13
Oh hell no!!! I had a friend that asked me to be a bridesmaid then took it back..lets just say we are not friends anymore!! It looks like she just wants you to do all her planning for her for free!!
Post # 14
Wow, I think you’re handling this pretty gracefully, to be honest. I think I’d be livid if I was in your situation. I agree with the rest of the posters here–you should step down.
Post # 16
@Anna10-05-2014: Eh no. No credit for fiancial contribution and work you do? Hell no.