Post # 1
I awoke over an hour ago and can’t seem to get back to sleep. It is because I feel terrible about how I keep “beating a dead horse”. The “dead horse” that I keep beating is our wedding.
SO is planning to propose sometime this month and we have planned to marry in 2013. Unfortunately, we are at a standstill when it comes to planning.
Reason 1: Money –
Right now, I work two part time jobs and my SO works full-time. Even though both of us are working, we haven’t been able to save like we have wanted to. Also, we want to pay for it ourselves.
Reason 2: Location –
SO is looking for a better job in his field and has applied to places all around the country. This means that we don’t know where we will be next year and are therefore unable to decide where we would like to get married.
Those are the two reasons that we can’t really plan anything for next year yet.
My SO has no problem discussing it, but has noticed, like I have, that our conversations about it have turned circular. We either get to a point where our lack of a location stops us from planning further or money becomes an issue. Yet, I still feel the need to bring it up and try to discuss our wedding in order to plan some aspect of it. This is where we both feel like I am “beating a dead horse” because we really can’t plan until we are engaged and have a better idea about our location and finances. It is frustrating to the point of tears. I am frustrated with myself more than anything because I am having a hard time waiting for all of this since I am a planner at heart.
I am sorry that this is long, but I needed to vent. Thank you for listening, Bees.
Post # 3
Please BUMP this since no one has replied. I am not sure whether it is the title or the time I posted it or both. Thank you.
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
For the location– why don’t you pick your hometown? That way, it’s somewhere that’s special to you, and you don’t have to worry about where you’ll be living.
As for finances, you’ve got time; get creative! Work on finding DIY ways to do the things you want, but can’t afford on the budget you’ve got. Being creative will give you plenty of time to find the perfect look. For example, I really wanted programs for my wedding, but couldn’t afford the extra few hundres dollars they would have cost– so, $87, a few weeks in photoshop making a design that complimented the invitations, and a pack of greeting cards & popsicle sticks later– and suddenly I had these:
Post # 5
I would start planning the less committal aspects. Instead of looking at venues and vendors, talk about how you want your wedding day to feel and how you envision it.
Start an inspiration board and see what you’re drawn to–is it a rustic barn wedding, a glamorous ballroom wedding, a vintage wedding at an estate, a destination wedding to the beach or mountains…your options are endless, and just thinking about the type of places you want to get married and the things you want to see will set you guys on the right path. Then you will know, once it is time to start talking to vendors and touring venues, where you need to start looking. There’s also a lot of questions like, do you want a DJ or a band? A big wedding or a small one? What sorts of food do you want to serve? You can also put together a theoretical guest list and talk about what songs you want to be featured.
Post # 6
You maybe can’t book a venue, etc right now, but things you can do are make a savings plan and budget, make a guest list, put together inspiration photos, make a list of your priorities (photographer, DJ, open bar, etc.) start pricing items and DIY components, make a file with DIY ideas and tutorials, etc.
I like the PP’s idea of choosing a venue in your home town. It would certainly make travel easier for your guests, and if you relocate, you’ll still have family and friends in the area that can help with any local preparation.
Post # 7
Do you have to marry in 2013? If you push the wedding back a year, you’ll have longer to save. My SO and I are totally broke, we don’t plan on getting married ’till 2014 or 15 because we want to be able to afford a nice wedding. You only get married once (hopefully!)!
Post # 8
@juliette.eliza – Unfortunately, our hometowns will not work. My SO moved around a lot when he was growing up. Plus, he doesn’t want to get married where his immediate family (mother and siblings) lives now. I lived in the same area for close to 25 years, but all the members of my family, including me, have moved away.
Great job on the programs! I have been working on my bouquet since I want old book page roses, but I have a limit on my craftiness.
@anemonie – Thank you for making me think about how we want our wedding day to feel. I will have to ask him and see what we come up with. I do have an inspiration board on Pinterest that might help us decide on descriptive words for how we want our wedding to feel.
As to your questions that we can answer, we don’t want a DJ or a band since both are expensive. Music will probably be done through a computer or mp3 player with speakers. We want a small wedding (50 or less) or we want to elope in the traditional sense of it being just us. We are foodies so the food must be good. Also, thank you for the suggestion of a guest list and songs. We will work on those. Those also made me think of a photo list of must-haves to give the photographer. Those will keep me busy for a while and give us a focus that isn’t location or money oriented.
@Elvis – What I wrote to the PPs, applies to you as well.
Also, my SO keeps telling me that his only priority is to marry me, and I agree that marrying him is the highest priority of our wedding day.
@stargazer102706 – We are both really fond of the number 13, so we would like to get married in 2013. We are thinking of October of 2013 which would give us a year to save. We will only be getting married once because we both strongly believe that.