beating around the bush!!!

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

This sounds like a  really bad situation.  You shouldn’t be nervous about asking your husband something.  The fact that he has hidden major things from you (MAJOR things) makes me a little concerned about him.  Do you have a support system (family, friends)?  I think you should seek counseling alone first and then with him. 

Post # 4
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@fiftyshadesofbride:  Start fixing up the house yourself. If I waited for my DH to do things only a fraction of them would ever get done. 

Having kids should have been something you guys hashed out before marriage, but that’s not really an option now. Just ask him. He’s your husband, it shouldn’t be scary to ask him for his feelings and timeline on the issue.

Post # 6
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I won’t even comment on him hiding his child from you.

I will say that if you guys can’t sit down and have an open, honest, mature conversation about children and other serious topics, then you’re not ready for kids yet.   Deciding on when to start having kids is only the tip of the iceberg of many serious conversations you’ll need to have. 

Post # 7
62 posts
Worker bee

You both definitely need counseling.  The fact that he hid such HUGE parts of his life from you, that he has a manipulative ex (by stalling on a paternity test), that you’re hesitant to have a conversation with him about starting a family, all of it.  This is very messy and you both need help sorting it all out with a neutral third party.  Even if you ask him about having children and he gives you an answer, it sounds like he may not have things sorted in his mind.  You’ll definitely want to make sure that his answer on starting a family is indeed what he truly wants with you.

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