Post # 1
I use to be friends with this girl that was really emo. One day she would be happy for me and the next she would say hurtful things and make rude comments. She was the first to get excited when I got engaged and was talking about how she would help me with the wedding.
Then, not even a week later she was backing out of everything and she deleted me from her Facebook. There was no fall out or fight, so I have no idea why she did that. This was not the first time she deleted me from her Facebook and the reasoning she gave me before was that she was just cleaning out her Facebook. To me that was just not right being that we were best friends and told eachother everything.
It seemed that the happier and more secure I got in my relationship with my DH, the meaner she would get. I am assuming it is jealousy but I dont think that is enough reason to treat people like crap.
Well, she contacted me a week before my wedding to congratulate me. I didnt reply because I was starting to see the pattern and our friendship was just to much of a rollercoaster. You can say it was full of drama and I dont want that in my life. My DH has seen me cry because of the mean things she would say but I always forgave her and took her back. He told me that I should rid myself of relationships that cause my pain and heartache and that is what I did. Although I miss her terribly, I feel peace because I dont have to walk on egg shells or feel guilty for being happy. I always think about her and will always love her but I never thought of being friends with her again. Well she contacted me today and now I have mixed emotions.
Her words exactly:
I know for some reason you hate the heck out of me – but you have been on my mind a lot lately so I just wanted to touch bases and tell you that I hope all is well with you and the girls and Chuck.
I am so confused and I know my DH will not be happy about it. He wont tell me I cant see her but he will not like the fact that I am putting myself in a situation that can eventually hurt me.
I guess my question is, should I reply or delete it and move on?
Post # 3
Honestly I wouldn’t even respond. It’s not a relationship that is healthy for you to be in so I would just let it go. She is probably looking to get a rise out of you.
Post # 4
@Mrs.Jansen: I personally don’t respond to hostile FB messages like that. If you’re ok with not talking to her anymore and have the closure you need, delete. She just wants to stir up drama.
Post # 5
I think it’s worth replying and letting her know the things you just wrote here. She should know that you don’t hate her, but you got burnt out by her actions. It’s possible she’s never been called out on this behavior, and isn’t aware of how destructive it is.
Post # 7
@abirdword: This is what I was thinking but at the same time, she doesnt even know what she did wrong. Ugh!!!
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2015 - Thorpewood
I have a friend exactly like this. I say just don’t respond and move on. Odds are she’ll keep hurting you.
Post # 9
Hmmmm. I would say something like, “Hi! We’re great here, hope you are, too. Take it easy!” Just ignore the immature part of her message. Better still, don’t respond at all, who needs drama?
Post # 10
@abirdword: agree. writing something like what you’ve written here doesn’t have to be about opening the door to her again, it could be about giving yourself closure.
Post # 11
I would ignore it as well. No sense in dredging up hurt feelings only to relive them, in my opinion.
Post # 12
Thank you ladies, I miss her and love her dearly but I just cant seem to get myself to reply and start all over with her. I hope that this is the right decision.
Post # 13
You can’t really expect her to read your mind and know she’s hurting you if you don’t say anything. Common sense should dictate that her behaviour isn’t ok and is hurtful. Unfortunately, if you haven’t noticed in this world, common sense isn’t very common. Most people are truly oblivious to these sort of things. I would take the time to let her know how much she’s hurt you over the years, and then decide the future of your friendship based on how she handles that.
Post # 14
I would ignore. Life is too short to have troublesome people in your life.
Post # 15
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
I’ve been on both ends of this… We’re all adults now, and it was nice of her to think of you. Something simple like, “Thanks so much for asking! We’re doing really well. This summer we zxy. I wish you and yours the best.” If she responds, then figure it from there.
Post # 16
She is not well. I would not get sucked back in her drama.