Post # 1
My parents have always interfered with my life, and I begged them to let me plan my wedding the way I wanted to. I did incorporate some of the things they wanted in our ceremony, and they did pay for about half the wedding. The day of the wedding , my mother went to the site and rearranged a lot of how we had the ceremonies, one of HER friends took over the wedding and did some crazy things that were just humiliating, including making the band stop, changing the wording of one of our ceremonies, and then even more crazy things. and my wedding planner came up to my (now)husband and I and said that she felt like she lost control of the wedding. we played it off in front of everyone as if it was fine. but we are very furious about it.
to top it off, in the middle of the wedding, my dad gets up to give a toast and he thanks my mom for everything. my mom fought me the whole entire time, i had to fight for the venue, the food, the music (which they ended up stopping to do their own thing), and I could not believe it. i had to fight to get everything that worked, to work. Oh, AND, at the beginning my parents show up an hour and a half late to the wedding. we had to delay the ceremony by 20 minutes because THEY were late.
we had a beautiful day in the end, but it was beautiful the way we had it planned originally, and I am just furious with my family. i have no idea how to move forward and I had a hard time even looking at them at the wedding.
I beg them every time i see them to stop interfering with my life. i live 13 hours from home and left in order to make my own life and get peace, but they keep asking us to move home. i can’t do it, and this is the final straw. i don’t know how to move forward with them. i know this sounds melodramatic, but i was planning this day for over a year, and i just feel like they had no problem running me over to get what they wanted.i should have known not to trust them.
Post # 3
It seems to me you need to educate them!!! I was horrified by what you wrote. I can’t believe your mother did all those things!! I am very, ver, very independent and i never let my parents meddle in my life..too much.Be strong and firm and if they want to be a part of your new life they must understand they need to change their attitude towards you – i know it’s difficult, mind!!
Post # 4
It sounds like you need to have a talk with them. I’m sure they think they’re helping you out, but you need to let them know it hurt your feelings. They need to learn some boundaries.
Here’s a book you could read and/or suggest to them: http://www.amazon.com/Walking-Eggshells-Navigating-Delicate-Relationship/dp/0767920848
Post # 5
Wow, I’m really sorry you had to go through this. I just can’t imagine anyone changing the words to another persons wedding ceremony.
Post # 6
I’m sorry. I’m just so angry at them. so to vent a bit more. they also showed up half an hour late to the rehearsal dinner, and invited EXTRA people, despite my mother-in-law working her butt off to keep it to a certain size. when my PARENTS walk in, all their friends got up and clapped for THEM. my dad proceeded to get up and again thank my mom for all of her hard work (this is at the rehearsal dinner that my mother-in-law planned, mind you). i felt humiliated and my mother in law was just so angry.
Post # 7
OMG girl I totally feel your pain. Not so much to the same extent but enough to make me feel like this is my mom’s wedding and not mine. My dad’s cool and he doesn’t interfere but my mom is another story.
I’m glad that you still had an amazing day despite your parents!
Post # 8
I have no idea what to do. if i should write them a letter/email, or if i should talk with them. my husband and i are from teh same hometown. we’re already planning on going back there for thanksgiving and staying with his family. i don’t even feel like contacting my parents when i get back there. i know that sounds harsh. but they just never listen to me. and this sort of put me over the edge. i decided that i don’t want them near me when we have kids, i just want them at a distance. they just try to control everything.