Post # 1
Fiance just called me to tell me that his mother bought SEPERATE invitations for their entire side of the family because she didn’t like the ones I .. ALREADY.. BOUGHT!!!!!!
Everyone agreed to not have FI’s non-involved biological father on the invitations & these that she bought have his name on it & not her husbands? I’m confused. They look like something she made on microsoft word… I’m not happy!
Why would you go behind my back after I paid for invitations for EVERYONE that EVERYONE agreed on. (200+) I have NO idea how to approach this situation, I see it as being disrespectful to say the least.
Post # 3
umm…. that sucks. I don’t know how to gracefully address that.
I’m confused though. Whose name is on your actual invitations and whose name is on the ones she whipped up?
Post # 4
@futurepilotswife_: Have your Fiance address it!
Post # 5
@joya_aspera: on the ones I bought: my parents, FI’s mom & step dad.
On hers : my parents & FI’s mom & FI’s real dad.
His mom has been married to his stepdad the past 20 years..
Post # 6
@futurepilotswife_: hmmm, kind of weird, I wonder why she would want to do that? I do agree that your Fiance should probably broach this with his mom. It was inappropriate for her to do that but I guess the main question is why???
Post # 7
Do you have the list of addresses for her side of the family? If so, just send out yours before she sends out hers.
(btw, lots of power to you if you can do this– I totally couldn’t but would really love to if in your situation!)
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
Oh shit. Not ok. Maybe you can call her? You don’t want this whackadoodle thinking this is how things are gonna be when you get married!!
Post # 9
I’m going to finish addressing them tonight & send them out tomorrow. I asked Fiance to approach her but he’s very much a people pleaser … I told him I would call her if I needed to, but he doesn’t think that will play out well. I don’t understand her!
Post # 10
Send them out anyway. You paid for them, and she probably printed them at Kinkos, which people will obviously see. Send em out and shame on her.
Post # 11
@futurepilotswife_: who is hosting (paying for) the wedding? those are the names that should be included on the invites.
if his bio father is contributing to the wedding, i could see his name on the invite. if not, this could be your reasoning to fmil why not to use them. it doesn’t follow etiquette.
Post # 12
My parents are paying/hosting most of it. His mom/stepdad are paying for the alcohol & honeymoon. Bio dad has not contributed anything to the wedding process except negative feelings.
Post # 13
@futurepilotswife_: i would tell your fmil that you do not want her to send the invites with the bio dad’s name. there is no reason to have him on the invites if he is not contributing.
Post # 14
Woah. This sounds like my sister’s Mother-In-Law. I could totally see her doing something like that.
Your Fiance needs to tell his mother off. This is crazy and you can NOT deal with shit like this for the rest of your life.
Post # 15
My fiance and i purchased separate invitations because he and his Mum could not afford the ones that my Mum and Dad really liked. We understood and agreed it was best to purchase separate invitations.
Why don’t you give out your invitations to the majority of guests and let her give out her invitations to those that are close to her (e.g. her friends). Everyone wins.
Post # 16
I would walk right up to her and tell it’s not okay. If she had an issue she could have talked it out with you. She needs to understand that this is about you and your fiance not her.