- 6 years ago
FI and I are no longer together.
we DO live together. he works offshore and is gone 75% of the year, for now, what’s the sense in 2 separate households and it keeps my son in HIS OWN bed.
we are BOTH dating other people, who live in different states. his is in his hometown(KY), mine is in my hometown(FLA). both of those people know what is going on, and neither has a problem with it.
we both pretty much live separate personal lives. when he is gone, i am with my friends spending time at work and with our son. when he is here, i have an arrangement with a girlfriend who’s stepdaughter doesn’t visit but every other year, but has her own room. when Mr. X is home, i kind of alternate between being here at the house, and being at my girl’s house. this way, he gets guy time with our son, or alone time period to relax, without that “wifey” feeling of me being here.
we still do stuff with our son, and everyone think’s we’re this happy family. it’s crazy what removing “titles” can do with some people.
this is definitely not an arrangement that works for alot of people. but, it just somehow works for us. for the first time in about 5 years, we SHARE everything. life, drama, responsibilites(cleaning, etc, our son). there’s no animosity! there was alot when we were together officially. and i really thought there would be when he suggested this arrangement. but there isn’t!!
as i mentioned in my venting post. and i’ll mention this here cos i mentioned it there. our agreement is i only have to work to pay my OWN bills, and a portion of the utilities. he gives me money on his paydays, so that i can do things with our son he can’t do, or i need to actually pay my neighbor if my work hours take me outside the usual sitter’s hours. otherwise, it’s more of a “hey thanks for watching the house, dog and fish” while i’m gone thing.
i have the ability to relocate. BUT, it would take me 3 hours away from my son(i’m honest, i wouldn’t make enough starting out to support my son on my own), and it would SEVERELY throw off the time each of us are able to spend with our son.
ok, well, there it is lol…i’m not ashamed. i was at first, then i realized just how many of our “friends” do the same thing. crap, we learned last weekend, that his coworker & wife are divorced, but since she is working on a master’s, they live together, and she works to pay her own stuff, and pretty much exactly what we do.
everyone we know says “ya’ll will be back together”…well, i don’t know if i really really want that. i thought i did. but we’re just so much happier this way. he says he agrees. we don’t know what the future holds, but this is our present and it works for us.
now you know why i call him “Mr. X” 🙂 cos he’s not FI anymore, but he’s still my friend lol