(Closed) Becoming abstenent before the wedding

posted 5 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
9061 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t see why you’d need to sleep somewhere else. Besides, cuddling rocks.

Post # 4
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I personally don’t understand the stopping sex thing but to each her own.  If you feel like sleeping in the same bed will be a temptation and you feel that strongly then maybe sleep apart I guess.  Is your FI 100% on board with this? I hope you had a long discussion first because it affects him too.

Post # 5
Member
3050 posts
Sugar bee

You have a baby! I don’t suppose to understand everyone’s religion, but I think a few months of abstinence won’t make a huge difference!!

Post # 7
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

 

@pinkgreenandyellow:  I think I understand your question. I think you should consider sleeping elsewhere. Yes, cuddling and intimacy are nice without sex, but if you have already been sexual with your FI, it will be harder to stop from moving beyond cuddling. I think it will be easier on both of you to simply sleep elsewhere. 

Post # 8
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t see why sleeping in the same bed would be wrong to begin with let alone if you are trying to “abstain”. 

Post # 9
Member
16 posts
Newbee

Hi OP! I think you are making a great decision, and your post was very inspirational to me considering where I am in my faith journey. Since you are asking for advice, I would suggest not sharing the same bed, is it possible to sleep in the same room your child sleeps in (don’t know the particulars of your situation, age of child, etc)?

Post # 10
Member
2488 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We did this the week before but still slept together except for the night of – this will be great ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My fiancee and I have slept int he same bed from day one, and we have currently been anxiously “waiting” for sex for 16 months. I think you’ll be OK to sleep in the same bed ๐Ÿ˜›

Post # 14
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think you coud try sleeping in the same bed, but if it proves too tempting, then sleep seperate. I think this is a great decision and it will be well worth it in the end! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 15
Member
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

It’s more than possible to sleep in the same bed without sex. My SO and I do. 

Post # 16
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@pinkgreenandyellow:  Yeah, I do think that it’s a lot different if you’ve already had sexual relations and are stopping then if you have been abstinent all along. I hate to be gender biased, but it might be hard on him in particular (as it sounds like it is you who has heartfelt reasons whereas he is supporting your decision). As a mom who has made it through two four year olds, I don’t recommend rooming in at her age ๐Ÿ™‚

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