(Closed) Becoming an acquaintence again

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should I try to be friends again?
    Hell no, drop the ho! : (9 votes)
    35 %
    Yes, you have to! : (2 votes)
    8 %
    Maybe... : (13 votes)
    50 %
    Not sure : (2 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    2397 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I would let it happen naturally.  Maybe make it known through your cicle of friends that you feel no deep animosity towards her.  I’m assuming you don’t, or else you wouldn’t be entertaining the idea of re-friending her? 

    I’ve been in situations like this before, and they’re pretty awkward to say the least.  If she starts reappearing more and more in your life, and you really want to make an effort, just talk to her about everything.  Put it all out in the open.  That way, there’s no elephant in the room.  I don’t think you’re obligated to be BFFs with her, but it might be easier on your friendship with the guy to just clear the tension.

    Post # 4
    2765 posts
    Sugar bee

    She was dating the best man…  and so she expected to be the MOH?  That’s a pretty big expectation!!

    Since she’s the one who created the distance (didn’t come to your wedding, broke up with your husband’s best friend)… she’s the one who should make the effort to bridge it!

    Post # 6
    343 posts
    Helper bee

    Don’t be mad, but I’ve found it easier in life if you don’t keep score. (your last sentence).  Do what you want in life, and let others do what they want.  It’s less stress on yourself.  If you really enjoyed her friendship, when they get engaged send a card with good wishes.

    Post # 7
    2889 posts
    Sugar bee

    Since she made the effort, I would at least reaccept her as a FB friend and take it from there. Maybe let her know that you understand financial concerns but you still took it personally when she canceled at the last minute. Since you don’T see her, I feel like there’S no reason to hold a grudge but you don’t need to be instant best friends either.

    Post # 8
    4567 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Weeeeeell okay here’s the thing about panic attacks. They do come out of no where and very ofter they’re triggered by absolutely nothing. Seriously. I had my first one in October and it was terrifying and it wasn’t triggered by anything at all. You can’t really judge her for that.

    However, it does sound like she has an awful lot of drama, and likes to create it too! Not okay. Drama makes me insane, so I feel you on that front. If you’re not really ever going to see her again… why does it matter? Refriend her, but put her on a limited profile setting. Be friendly, but not her friend. And hope that your FI’s best man doesn’t marry her, ha.

    Post # 9
    1135 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Wow, that’s a crap thing to do to your friend (the best man). That’s probably the part that upsets me the most. I think that you will at some point have to be direct with her about how you feel. But, I would probably just reopen the communication, but keep it cordial until she outright asks you what is the issue. Then you can tell her about how you felt her assumptions were unfounded, that you are hurt by what she did to your friend and that although he might have taken her back, it will take you longer to trust her again because of what she did to him. That way it sounds as if your bigger concern is her behavior to your friend and not that you aesthetically had an empty seat at your wedding. The latter sounds selfish, which she might very well call you out on.

    What a sticky situation. I would eventually tell her that she hurt you and what you are willing to do to rebuild the friendship.

    The topic ‘Becoming an acquaintence again’ is closed to new replies.

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