Post # 1
I have a 13 year old step daughter who my FI agree’d that 10pm was a good bedtime for her on school nights.
I also have a 10 year old and he has a 9 year old and they go to bed at 9 on school night.
We rarely let our younger ones go past their bedtime but for the last while he has not been telling the 13 year old to go to bed until 11p.m (this is what time her mom lets her stay up to)
I think its late. its not what we agree’s too and her bedtime is becoming random and the younger ones dont get extra time.
should I let it go? what are your thoughts? do you have a 13 year old? what is their bedtime?
Post # 3
Different children need different amounts of sleep. How is she at getting up in the morning? How is she performing in school? If she is getting up without any trouble and is doing fine in school then it is ok. If she is having to be dragged out of bed- then its time to re-adjust.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
We have a 14 year old and he has a very firm 10pm lights out bedtime every day of the week. He’s had sleep issues since he was born, and consistency in his sleep schedule is crucial for him to get enough rest.
IMHO, this is less about a bedtime and more about your husband not enforcing the household rules that you and he agreed upon. If he would like to adjust her bedtime, then he needs to initiate a conversation with you about making the adjustment BEFORE he actually does it. By choosing to just not enforce a house rule, he’s sending a message to your kids that rules are optional, and that Mom and Dad are not operating as a united front. If the kids know that they can divide and conquer on the small stuff, they will not hesitate to use the same tactic on the big stuff. Kids are smart. They will use your lack of communication and firm boundaries against you.
Post # 5
11pm is really late! I personally think that all children should be in bed by 9. Even if they don’t go to sleep, they should still be in bed. I think that it is important not only for the children but also the adults. I always thought that after 9, adults should get a break from kids and it should be their alone time. If your FI is letting his kid stay up until 11, do you two ever get alone time?
Post # 6
We have a set bedtime of 9 for our older kids. Was 8 until around 4th grade. Even if they don’t sleep til 11, they just had 2 hours electronic free so their sleep will be more restful. Agree with pp that the bigger issue is not sticking to the house rules.