Bee in waiting needs advice.

posted 2 weeks ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
2733 posts
Sugar bee

turner1510 :  I actually picked the store, the setting and the stone. He picked the date time and location of the proposal. 

I have metal allergies too so he wanted me to be there to try it out and ask about the alloy etc. 

Post # 18
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Destination wedding Hawaii

turner1510 :  Check out James Allen they’re the only place that gives you an upclose look at the diamond and the flaws you pick the setting and then the diamond they send it out and if you’re not happy with it you send it back and you can do that 3 times. It’s amazing I designed a ring then changed my mind then canceled that and started again I designed it but I never got to see it in person until he asked me that was our deal

Post # 19
Member
21 posts
Newbee

I’m pretty picky with jewellery, so my SO did ask me for a lot of input in terms of the specs of the diamond and type of settings I like. He had expressed before that he wanted to make the final say (which I agree with) but he said he wants to make sure I am absolutely in love with it. So I’m in the waiting boat right now and I have told him here are the settings I like and don’t like… YOU pick the final one. He actually prefers it like this because it still leaves an element of surprise while still ensuring I’m getting what I would love. After all, this is something I would want to wear for the rest of my life! I think you should explain to your SO that while you trust his judgment (important to reassure him first..), you are also in love with those designs/settings you showed him. Guys feel like when they don’t get a say in something, it hurts their ego so perhaps you can meet him in the middle by leaving it in the air since you’ve already showed him the settings you like?

Post # 22
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

turner1510 :  We picked out my E-ring together. And then he proposed 3 months later with it haha! I think that you should definitely have a say in the ring you get, firstly, because you are the one who will be wearing it so you have to be happy and comfortable with the ring you get, second, doesn’t he get to choose his wedding band? In my opinion, I think its slightly unfair haha. 

I can get that he feels like you don’t trust him, but I think you can use reverse psychology on him and ask if he wouldn’t like some help so that he knows he will definitely be buying you the type of ring that you’re in love with! 

Post # 24
Member
2733 posts
Sugar bee

turner1510 :  For me, it didn’t ruin it at all! And I actually didn’t get to see the ring (my ring with my stone) until he proposed! So it was still a surprise because I didn’t get to see how it came out until then. 🙂

Post # 25
Member
376 posts
Helper bee

What I thought I wanted completely changed when my BF took me to SCP to try some on. 

He knew I would love a cushion cut, but I wanted an oval or round. 

After we saw how the cushions didn’t face up as well or sparkle as much as RBC. We designed a round cut with cushion halo. 

I did get to help design it – but I didn’t get to see it in person. (I know he bas it and hopefully the proposal is coming soon!) 

 

Post # 27
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2017

turner1510 :  Your sentiment is perfect! It sounds like your FI wants to put in effort and really make this a personal gift from him – I think that’s wonderful. 

Post # 28
Member
304 posts
Helper bee

turner1510 :  Knowing what the ring looks like won’t ruin the surprise of a proposal or even the surprise of the ring. That’s just silly. You guys both know you’re getting married, does that ruing the proposal? When you get married you’ll know all the details of the wedding, does that ruin the wedding? Those moments are made by the sentiments expressed and the promise to spend your lives and grow old together, not the fancy decorations you’re wearing.

I picked out my ring and I picked out my fiance’s ring (he wears an engagment ring). I actually proposed without a ring and then we decided to find rings together. I was going to give my fiance a few rings to choose from and have him pick his favorite, but I fell in love with one. So I showed it to him and asked if he liked it, and if he did if I could have it. Then I found one for him that went well with him. I double checked that he liked it and would wear it and then bought it. We’re still ridiculously happy to be engaged and super excited to be getting married, even if there were no rings during the proposal and then the rings were chosen together.

Leave a comment


Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors