Beees, Do I have to go to this funeral?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do I have to go?
    Yes : (46 votes)
    48 %
    No : (49 votes)
    52 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1584 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I personally think it would be ok if you didnt go, considering you havent seen or spoken to her much in recent years, especially if you will be uncomfortable. it might be nice to go to support your family, but if they are aware of your relationship with her, they should understand.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @mchitt329:  Just go, pretend to care, and get it out of the way. You don’t want to look like the bad guy to the rest of your family. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    3769 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    I would go and site iwth your mom at the funeral (I would skip out on the viewing/wake). and then leave when it is over or take her out for lunch just your immeadiate family, unless there is a seperate luncheon she would want to go to. I think supporting your family you are close to is more impoant than your riff with a few you aren’t close with.

    This is all under the assumption that it doesn’t require a lot travel or too much missed work.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1470 posts
    Bumble bee

    I would say it’s okay to not go, you can show your support of your family in other ways without honoring your great grandmother’s memory with  your presence. Maybe take your mom and her sisters out to lunch and cook for your grandparents one day soon?

    Post # 8
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Do you have the option of going to viewing where you can comfort family and then skip the funeral because you didn’t care for your great grandmother?  I don’t think I could attend the funeral since I didn’t care for the person and it’s not really a place where you can actually comfort the family you do care about.  Is your mom aware of your feelings?  Would she be okay if skipped the funeral?

    Post # 9
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    I personally would use the excuse that work wouldn’t let me take the time off for the funeral.  But I don’t like to attend funerals even for people I love and care about.  They don’t provide closure for me and just seem ghoulish to me.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2063 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I would 100% not attend. I went to my uncle’s funeral (who was a horrible individual) and felt eye-rolly the whole time they were talking about what a great man and husband he was. Probably not the best way to feel at a funeral so in the future, I would avoid the funerals of those I didn’t love/respect.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3394 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I would attend, for the sole purpose of supporting those family members I DO care about, and who are undoubtedly grieving.

    Post # 13
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I probably would go to the funeral, but not to the wake/viewing/burial/luncheon after!

    Post # 14
    Member
    3777 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I’m of the belief that funerals are more for the family grieving than the deceased, so with that belief I would go to support those you love in their time of need.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3156 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @mchitt329:  I say you go for your family.  You’re right, arguments aren’t acceptable at the funeral…so don’t get into one.  You don’t have to speak to them.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3557 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Funerals are really for the living, not the dead. I say go at least briefly to support your living relatives and then leave before things get tense with the extended family.

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