Been having unprotected sex for years and have not been…

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
1952 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Aw 🙁 Don’t give up. It takes a lot longer for some. They say you can’t rush perfection. Hopefully you get some results soon 🙂

Post # 4
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I think that, if it were me, I would be looking to speak to a specialist at this stage. They say you should give it a year before you start planning medical interventions, but I think you are beyond that point now.

Post # 5
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

i agree with @Rachel631:. If you consider yourself having been “trying” for even a portion of that, then you are over the threshold of when fertility specialists will see you. I would consider making an appointment, if you haven’t already. I’m so sorry you’re feeling so frustrated.   

Post # 6
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@2beemrs:  My ex-SIL and her husband had two normal, healthy, easy pregnancies and then tried for a third. No protection, no pregnancy for 16 years. Then bam, outta nowhere she turned up pregnant. It can happen.

Post # 7
2614 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@2beemrs:  Unexplained infertility is awful! I know someone in the same situation who decided they weren’t waiting any longer and are going for IVF soon. The best of luck to you x

Post # 8
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Definitely get a second opinion. I can’t push blind hope at you – because something is obviously wrong here. Do you use BBTs and ovulation tests? What are your results like with this? Do you see a thermal shift? Do you get positive OPKs (or are they persistently positive – suggesting PCOS)?

I would see a reproductive endocrinologist at this stage. I am assuming you’ve had all of your basic bloodwork, and your opening post suggests you’ve had an SA for him. What about an HSG (to check for blocked tubes)? Have they done a post-coital cervical mucus test on you (i.e., you go in after having sex. Sometimes, a woman’s CM isn’t receptive to his sperm, which would mean IUI might be a necessity for you to get pregnant)?

Have you ever had a round of IUI? It’s totally covered on my insurance, but out of pocket, I think it would be $700 – $1k. That’s not counting an HSG, though, which you’ll need first to even get to IUI.

How old are you? Do you know about the condition of your eggs? If you haven’t already had it, talk to an RE about getting an Antral Follicle Count and having your FSH/E2 levels checked. I don’t know your age, and it’s unlikely anyway, but there’s a possibility that you may not have as many eggs as you think.

I really wish I could give you well-wishes. I only know of one couple who tried longer. One of my husband’s co-workers was trying for 10 years, and though I know it’s trite, she actually WAS beginning the adoption process when she found out she was pregnant. But I also don’t want to push false hope at you – the odds of conceiving are drastically lower in your position.

If you haven’t seen an RE yet, please get in to see one. My SIL was stalled by her OBGYN for *years* doing blood tests and he would just shrug and say, “I THINK you might not be ovulating…” or “I THINK there might be a cyst on one of your ovaries…”

Never suggested BBTs or taking ovulation tests to actually rule that out to her. Or even getting advanced treatment. When I mentioned an “RE” to her, she asked, “What’s that?”

Some OBGYNs will never refer you – because some of them want to keep the business.

Post # 10
4147 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@2beemrs:  Don’t give up.  I have to be super honest (but this is totally irresponsible and embarassing.)  I started having sex when I was 15 with my high school boyfriend.  We were together until I was 19 and we only had protected sex a handful of times.  I never once was pregnant.

My husband and I have been together since I was 20 (over 7 years) – we have never had protected sex.  I got pregnant once, just this past August, but sadly ended in a MC.  We have been trying everything natural we can, from acupuncture to vitamins.  He’s been tested and he’s good to go.

Have you been to a gyno?  I talked to my family doctor, because I told her about how long I’ve been having unprotected sex for and she immediately sent me to a gyno who sent me in for an HSG test to ensure there was no blockages in my ovaries.  We ruled that out, but found out there are cysts on my ovaries.  I’m now on a no dairy diet to see if that helps.

Just to be clear, I’ve been tested for every STI several times and those are non-issues as well.

Don’t give up – keep trying.  I cry almost every day because I just don’t understand how it seems everyone else gets pregnant immediately and we’ve been trying for years and nothing is happening.  But I have to keep trying.

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