Been waiting for over a year now…

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

You need to sit him down and make him realize you are not her.. and the past is in the past. You need to talk about how it will be different and how it wont ruin a good thing it will make it better.

My SO and I had this exact same discussion this last summer and he got over his fears afterwards its a natural feeling for him.

The best thing you can do is talk to him! 

Post # 4
Member
2754 posts
Sugar bee

travelbee’s advice is good. And since you’re already living together and things are going well, that should be a strong indication to him that you’re compatible. Is it possible the problem is outside of your relationship- are any of your married friends or relatives splitting up or having trouble? If he has recently witnessed a marital breakdown or two recently, he may be thinking that you and him get along better than the married couples he knows and think ‘wow, I don’t want to be like them, we’re getting along just fine, why risk changing things?’ If this is where his head is at, you should point out to him that it’s not fair to judge you or your relationship together based on other people- whether it’s an ex-fiance or couples you know. It’s not fair for him to leave you in limbo- you want to plan your future and a family and you have the right to know what his plans are and why he’s feeling the way he is.

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