(Closed) Bees getting their BA/MA/Phd… I’m going crazy! I could cry…

posted 6 years ago in College
Post # 3
Member
7697 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@BlissfulMrs:  Oh honey, Breathe!!  Take it one day at a time, one moment at a time if you have to.    What is the priority at this moment?

Post # 4
Member
14311 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Are you doing a lot of DIY that requires a lot of time?  Do you have the major stuff booked?  Just step back and look at the most current deadlines.  Most likely it will be school… just deal with the first thing that comes your way.  Weekly assignments, cross those off the list.  When there’s spare time, do some wedding project.. .if not, you still have 5 months.  Plenty of time!!  I was working full time, 2 night classes for my engineering masters, housing hunting and wedding planning.  Just attack things in the order at which the deadlines come to you.  And dont put off sleeping and eating well… that jsut makes me feel even worse about myself and the whole situation.

Post # 5
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I was working full-time and going to graduate school part-time while I was planning my wedding.  And my husband was doing the same thing!  You can definitely do it!  Just step back and inventory everything — 5 months is plenty of time!  And give some tasks to your FI if you havent already 😉

Post # 6
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Private Residence

Hey there!  You are not alone.  I am 6 months away from our wedding and 4 months from finishing internship.  I find that when I think about the huge BIG picture and everything I have to do, I get completely overwhelmed, like you mentioned.  To think of all there is to do in such a short period of time is just too much!  

My only advice is to try not to think of everything you have to do, but break things down, and don’t worry about the career for now.  It sounds like you can get through the wedding, and the summer, and then worry the PhD route and that.  And most importantly, what are you doing for fun/stress relief?  FI has to remind me all the time to take time to do something I like (running/cooking), but he’s right, we all need a break, so don’t forget to relax a little!  Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You are not alone! I’m in grad school too and it’s tough balancing it all. Especially when the financial siutation is abysmal. I feel your pain! ((hugs))

 

Post # 8
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I feel your pain! I am working a full time job, a part time job and going to school part time! Luckily I graduate in May. I barely have time to sleep/think nevermind spend time with fiance or friends! My FI and I fight all the time because im never around or im always stressed.  Just think theres a light at the end of the tunnel. it wont always be like this! You are doing something great and it will all come together in the end =) Good luck! 

Post # 9
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I feel your pain! I’m finishing up my Master’s degree and we’re getting married in June. FI is also finishing up his Master’s. He is at a school that is 5 hours away, and won’t be back until the start of June (so, about 3 weeks before we get married). I am also a teacher, so work has also kept me busy. When I feel overwhelmed, I take that cue to sit in front of the TV or go work out (if sitting still isn’t helping). While I’m sitting, I’ll make a list of things I’m worried about. I then write down each one’s due date and then write myself a schedule. That seems to help me refocus on what needs to be done now and what can be put off a little.

  Taking time for yourself is important! I also find that exercise does help me. I’m not a big exerciser, but even after 20 minutes walking on a treadmill, I do feel a lot better. I also notice that I tend to freak out more when I’ve been eating poorly. Also, let your FI know what’s going on. It was hard for me to tell my FI what was stressing me, but he was very understanding. It actually felt better to tell him, because I would catch myself lashing out at him for no reason.

  I hope everything goes well! I know I’m looking forward to our honeymoon, where a lot of the stress will be gone (or, we’ll be looking at different stressful things) and we can take a break from it for a week.

Post # 10
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It is OKAY to feel this way.  I’m pretty sure the point of grad school is to make you feel like s*** and everyone feels overwhelmed (even if they don’t show it to you!).

I went through the same thing 2 years ago.  My then-boyfriend worked full-time and I was in my 1st year of my MS.  I was super broke and he paid for everything but my rent.  At the time, I felt terrible about it, but in a marriage its never going to be equal 100% of the time- its about compromise and being generous to one another.

I’m still in school and working now, all while trying to plan my wedding so I totally understand what you’re going through.  I handle it by day-dreaming of being done with school, cooking, and (sometimes) working out.

Oh, and you said you’re not sure about getting a PhD now.  I switched my thesis track halfway through after I had anxiety attacks for 1 whole year with my old advisor.  After I switched, they went away, and I really believe its because I finally did what was right for me and stopped worrying.  Take time out and really think about what it best for you before committing to something that could make you miserable.  Hope this helps a little!

Post # 11
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I too am finishing up my doctorate after a year off. Health issues caused financial issues and I had to sit out, but I am back with a vengeance and hope to knock it out in 6-8 months. My FI is encouraging and helping to pay for two of my last courses He has seen the level of dedication it takes when I am in writing mode. Planning a wedding and studying and working is extremely difficult but we are BEES and we can do it! Hang in there all!

Post # 12
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

You and me both! I have to finish my MA thesis by May and am getting married in August.  I definitely went out and bought invitations tonight instead of writing Chapter 2.  Oops. 

I don’t think you should give up on all your schooling yet, though.  At least wait until after the wedding to decide whether you want to go the PhD route.  (I’m starting mine in August!)

Post # 12
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Double

Post # 12
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

And even a triple! Dang WB!

Post # 13
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Like some other bees said, try to do a little something that grounds you every day. It doesn’t have to be much or take more than 5 minutes.

I don’t have a lot of great advice because I basically feel overwhelmed all the time… wedding is in just over three months and I’m in vet school. I really need to be studying right now… but I just wanted to say that you’re not alone, and like islandbabes said we can do this!

Post # 14
Member
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m in graduate school. Halfway to my PsyD (Clinical Psych. version of a PhD).

All I can stress is SELF CARE – SELF CARE – SELF CARE. It is vital to my own sanity. Schedule in down time to go to the park, take a nap, go out to eat with your fiance, etc. It is not taking time away from your studies – it is giving your brain the rest it needs to continue to function at an optimal level.

Also, is there anything you can step down from or do less? I know I’m trying to switch my GA to another department because my current supervisor is awful.

Good luck to you – take a deep breath!

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