Post # 1
I feel incredibly sad and about to burst in tears. There’s a temendous pressure in my chest, a lump on my throat.. it’s 3 weeks since my mother-in-law to be (my little girl’s sweet grandmother) died. I may be entering the phase of actually missing her as people have told me the first weeks most people are dazzed.Plus..my fiancée is away and i am left with all the work, two girls, two cats and the wedding planning..PLUS the tremendous stress i am feeling about his ex wanting to come to our wedding and the guilt we feel as it’s my stepson’s 20th birthday on the same day..ARGH!!!!!! I am about to burst………….
Post # 3
Sorry to hear about your loss.
Not much to say, but ((HUGS)).
Post # 4
*hugs* Call your fiancé. He’ll understand that you need to share your feelings.
Post # 5
I’m very sorry for your loss. 🙁
Post # 6
So sorry for your loss 🙁 Just call your fiance and talk it out with him. Don’t take on everything yourself!
Post # 7
I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish there was more we could do to help. (hugs)
Post # 8
I am very sorry to hear about this. Definitely talk to your fiance. His ex does not have to be there. He should understand how you feel. If it kills him that much for her not to be a part of it, perhaps she can attend the ceremony and not the reception. This way you don’t feel the need to have to talk to her. And do not worry about the birthday. You two chose that day for a reason, and it will be more of a reason for your stepson to celebrate. (My two aunts chose the same exact day for their weddings.)
In the meantime, find a quiet place to sit and breathe. Your health is the most important.
Post # 9
Thank you , bees.. it’s been a tough day indeed. I have talked a little to my mum and feel slightly better (she’s NOT a great listener or good adviser…but of course she means well).
I am grieving the loss of such an incredible person as my little girl’s grandmother. It’s too soon..too recent..plus all the stress about the wedding..taking it’s price..today i have two errands still, regarding the wedding and have to go to my little girl’s school for a brief meeting. Tomorrow, meeting with my oldest’ schoolteacher..and the IRS to prepare..and all the housework, of course..and decisions, decisions, decisions.. I am preparing the wedding almost by myself..i am the one who planned, searched, drew, sketched everything! I am tired..
Post # 10
It’s hard when someone you love and who is such an important part of your life, and your childrens’ lives, passes away. Fortunately, nothing can take away the wonderful memories you have and the lessons you learned from her.
It sometimes does seem overwhelming when you still have all the duties of FI, mother, homemaker, wedding planner to get done. But, I think this is part of a bigger plan. These sometimes overwhelming tasks and duties might be designed to show us that life indeed does go on. As you go about these day to day tasks, you will gradually incorporate her loss into your life.
You will think of her when you are making decisions. You may even find yourself smiling or laughing at the thought of something she might have said or done.You will know you are on the path to healing. She will always be looking out for you.
Post # 11
I am so sorry for your loss. *Big hugs* I can only imagine how you’re feeling. // If it’s possible, you should give yourself a “mental health” day and have some r&r just for yourself.
Post # 12
@Rivendeler: Letting yourself feel your emotions in a time of grief is the MOST important thing right now. I know what you are going thru, and it IS HARD and SUCKY!! You will have your awful days, and your Ok days. You will have your happy days, and your sad days. They will not go in order, but jump around. Grieving is a life-long process, and the worst thing you can do is, well, NOT grieve. Share your feelings to those whom you trust. It ‘hitting’ you know, the incredible loss, is absolutely normal, but that does not mean in 2 months, it will feel ‘better’. Loss is incredibly difficult, especially when it was someone so close to you.
As for the ‘other’ things, although they are stressful and difficult, please just remind yourself that life is TOO short to ‘sweat’ the small stuff. I am not saying these things are small, but certainly, a lesson that slapped me in the face after the loss of my mother not too long ago is that sometimes the best thing to do is to focus on the things that really matter – your love, your daughter, your future together with your soon-to-be DH.
Post # 13
Yes, i agree on the importance of grieving..which we have not done as maybe we need. Trying our best to “be strong” and “move forward”.. this is a bad day. I know that when i arrive home i will lit a candle in front of her smilling face, smile her back, drop a tear or two..and then go about preparing dinner. Know what i treasure the most ? Besides all the wonderful memories, i mean..i have with me 6 notebooks full with her beautiful handwriting, bursting with recipes she tried, commented, delighted over the years..with chocolate smudges and all..precious, simply precious and something i look forward to share with my girls. “Look, let’s try one of grandma’s old recipes, shall we?”
I am grieving, yes..not crying behind closed doors, but silently, inside.
Here’s to the most inspiring and loving woman e ever met..