- 4 years ago
Regular poster going anon for this one… this is probably going to be long, so please bear with me!
I’m 3 1/2 years into a 4 year degree program, planning to graduate in May.
As part of my program, we intern for 1 year. Sometimes, the internship is split into halves – one semester at one location, one semester at another – but you can opt for a 1-year placement.
I opted for a 1 year placement, and began in the Fall. The entire semester, my mentor continuously told me that I was doing a great job. She noted areas of improvement in my evaluations, but indicated that they were no big deal when I asked about them.
Then, in Decemer, when my final evaluation was due, she absolutely slaughtered me.Things that she had told me were not a big deal were suddenly huge concerns, and I scored terribly (on a scale of 1-5, I got mostly 2s) in every single area but one. She even went to my university and asked that I was moved to another placement, saying that she felt I would do better with another mentor.
I had absolutely no idea where any of this came from. The entire time, I thought I was doing well – and why wouldn’t I? Her last words to me almost every day were, “Great job today!”
I’m supposed to start my new placement on January 7th, but my university still hasn’t told me where I will be. The placement office has had a month now to find me a new spot. I emailed one of my supervisors today, who told me that I needed to call the placement office on Monday – 24 hours before I’m supposed to start my new placement!
Here’s my dilemma:
I don’t want to go back. Yes, I know, I only have one semester left, but I don’t think I want to do this anymore. I feel like I would always be questioning myself, wondering if my new mentor was lying to me, and waiting for him/her to pull the rug out from under me like my last one did (potential for self-fufilling prophecy?). I also don’t know that I want to work in this section of my field anymore. It would be possible to go back to school in a few years, if I change my mind.
My other option is to go back to work in another section of my field, where I worked part-time before my internship. My old job is hiring and would take me back, and I could climb the ladder to a well-paying position that I know I would love, though my earning potential wouldn’t be as high. Going to work would also move my life timelines up – my FI and I moving in together, our wedding, everything.
So Bees, what would you do if you were in my shoes?