- vanilla frosting
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
Okay, I have been putting off this post for a couple of weeks now in the sincerest hopes that something would change, and because I literally get panic attacks EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT… but nothing has changed and I need some advice. You’ll have to bear with me, because this is going to be a long post.
A few weeks ago, FI and I hit a huge roadblock on our way to wedded bliss. I won’t rehash all the gory details, but suffice it to say that I almost called off the wedding. After many many hours of talking, crying, yelling, and more talking I decided to move forward with our plans to get married. We are getting married on September 23rd and we are really taking steps to be better people, for ourselves and for our lives together. I am happy with the decision that I made and am truly, honestly looking forward to marrying my amazing fiance.
Here’s where trouble brews… in a fit of emotional rage, I told a few close friends about what happened between FI and I because I needed my emotional support network. I needed a sounding board (pr three). One of those friends was BM T. BM T and I became friends about a year into my and FI’s relationship. She has seen the good, the bad, and the ugly of our relationship. She was truly happy when we got engaged and hopped right on the wedding planning train with me. When I talked to her about what happened with FI, she immediately went bestfriend on me. Supporting what my feelings were and talking with me about the situation, listening.
However, when I informed her of my decision to stay, she told me that she didn’t agree with my decision. She told me that despite the fact that she is my best friend, and I hers, she would NOT stand up with me on my wedding day. She informed me that she would participate in all of the wedding excitement (shower, bach party, attend the wedding). But she made it very clear that she would no longer stand up to be a bridesmaid because she does not believe in my marriage.
I am completely heartbroken by her decision. I can’t be mad at her, which makes it more difficult, because I know that she is a really passionate, strong-willed person. She truly believes that she is right and that backing out of the wedding is in the best interest of everyone involved. However, the thought of not having her stand up with me is painful enough. The other thought of having someone who is so opposed to my marriage attend my wedding, somehow feels worse. I have tried to talk to her about my feelings, but every time I do she basically tells me that I deserve better and lists all the things she feels are wrong with my FI. I know she is doing what she thinks is best as my best friend, but I have made it clear that I made my decision, no matter the outcome, and that I am at peace with it.
UGH… what the hell am I supposed to DO!?