Post # 1
So, after watching countless episodes of Bridezillas, I have been determined throughout this planning process not to become a zilla. So far, I have done pretty well, but I got some news yesterday that is threatening to throw me over the edge.
So, my FSIL is pregnant and her baby is due in August. I am super excited for her and even helped in throwing her a baby shower.
But here is the kicker, I found out from my FMIL yesterday that my FSIL wants to throw a party for her baby the day before the wedding (in November). I am so shocked because that day will be one of the busiest days for everyone in the family where we will be doing the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner and just running around everywhere. She said she would like to take the opportunity of having all of the family in town to throw her party. I think that this is so selfish of her. I am here wondering why she cant throw the party any other time in the 365 days in the year, why the day before my wedding.
Mind you, this is a girl who loves being the center of attention. I wouldnt mind it if half the people who are going to be involved in this party wasnt already going to be a part of my bridal party. When are we going to have time to do a rehearsal dinner, a wedding rehearsal and a baby party. My FMIL says we should just share the occasion and throw one party. WHAT?!
I dont know Bees, am I just being a bridezilla?
Please help. I am so scared to confront my FSIL because she is pregnant and I dont want to cause her any stress. My fiance is pissed off about this and he even recognizes that his sister is just being a selfish brat. He suggested confronting her but I told him we should discuss it with her husband first and have him talk to her. What do you guys think?
Post # 3
Yes I think it is sort of silly for her to think that no one will be doing anything the day before your wedding. I can understand her thought process that everyone will be there but that doesn’t mean that it would be a good idea.
Her husband might be able to help if he is on your side but if he isn’t, he might not convince her against it.
Post # 4
I think the fact that she’s taking advantage of all the family being in town is smart, not selfish. It would be nice if she had it at least a few days before or sometime after- maybe you could nicely suggest that?
Post # 5
I agree, the day after would be a great idea, we through my little nephew a first birthday party the day after our wedding, can u suggest that?
Post # 6
I would throw a FIT!!! That day is going to be soooo busy!! That sounds like someone just trying to steal the spotlight. Everyone being in town??? That seems a little odd to me. If you weren’t getting married, would she still be inviting out of town guests?? To a baby party? I would think people out of state generally wouldn’t get an invite to something like that….but maybe it’s because I don’t understand what is meant by party for the baby. I know people throw showers before, and celebrate birthdays after, but if this is just some random, look at my baby, party, then huh???? I would speak with her, but letting her brother say something might work better.
Post # 7
Oh hell no. She is in the wrong here. Don’t you have a rehearsal and rehearsal dinner that day. I consider the day before the wedding and the day of the wedding to be your time. I know everyone says you only get a day, but with rehearsal dinners and rehearsals really you kind of get two days. I agree with the other poster, have your FI tell her to throw it the day after your wedding. I would also be upset
Post # 8
A party for the baby? Why? It’s going to be 3 months old. So it’s basically a “come look at my baby and bring me more presents since we’re all here party”? I’ve never heard of someone having a party AFTER the baby is born. Will she be bringing the baby to the wedding? If the party is so people can see the baby, can’t they just see it then? Or during the rehearsal stuff? I’d be pissed too. You should definitely have your FI talk to her or her husband about it.
Post # 9
That is tricky! A friend of mine was in a similar situation, except her FBIL and FSIL got their child baptized the day after the wedding. They weren’t very happy at all.
Could you approach it from the angle that you’re going to be super busy getting ready, as will other people, so you’d be concerned that close family may not be able to make that day?
I do not think you’re being a bridezilla, by the way. I feel like the bridal couple definitely “get” the rehearsal dinner and wedding ceremony day, too (maybe even the day after, because you need some time to kick back!).
Post # 10
FI should confront her since she’s his sister.
Post # 11
1. the random party doesn’t make sense to me at all and 2. not sure how much extended family would actually be there the day before.
I would think a party on the day after the wedding would mean more extended family would be in town? And if you are doing a day-after brunch and inviting the extended family to it, maybe you could talk to her about that would be a time the extended family can meet the baby and no additional party is needed…?
Post # 12
I don’t think it’s selfish, I think she is just totally out of touch with reality. The only way it would work is if she can plan it around a nice long lunch break for the family that is helping out with the wedding, then that is okay. And keep it short (like 1.5 hours). Dress rehearsal at 4pm and then dinner. Will that work?
NNNNOOOOOOO on the ‘one big party’. WTF? That shouldn’t even be a thought. You get your day (or at least afternoon and evening).
If the logistics don’t work, sorry prego, find a new day.
Post # 13
@ejay15: This is exactly what I was thinking. The BABY SHOWER is the baby party, ffs, she can’t have both. If she wants people to see the baby, people can see the baby, but to throw ANOTHER party the day BEFORE your wedding when people will be really busy, is ridiculous and selfish. I do agree that capitalizing on people being in town is a great idea, but just bring the kid places with you!
Your FI needs to talk to his sister.
Post # 14
EEek, I missed that the baby would already be born. Um, no. They can meet the kid at the after-wedding brunch or the wedding but she doesn’t need an add’l party.
Post # 15
What about suggesting doing an after wedding brunch or something. Tell her that you would love nothing more than to be there for her party, but you know deep down in your heart you are going to be stressed with things that need to be done and would rather not bring down the party with your and your FI’s, and possibly other members helping out with the wedding absence. Plus you’d love to be able to enjoy seeing your new niece or nephew.
But I do agree she is being selfish.
Post # 16
Day before your wedding is bitchy.
Day after your wedding is not.
ETA Same day as your wedding is cage match throwdown, but I can’t imagine she’d be that stupid.