Post # 1
Hi everyone, first of all thank you so much for reading my post! I really need all the advice I can get. Here is my dilemma: I don’t know if I care about a wedding. Let me explain.
So I got engaged 2 weeks ago to my fiance who is seriously my best friend. We met through a Ivy League institution which creates a stigma to begin with. After getting engaged with a 2 carat center stone people are assuming we are having a lavish huge wedding but I do not think I want that. Firstly I want to wait to 2015 to get married and everyone is like why wait? The answer is because I want to. Secondly, I am still in graudate school and my parent’s rule was that I could get engaged but I cannot get wedding planning distracting me from my studies so I do not want to plan until May (when I graduate). I feel that all my friends are trying to push me into looking. They tell me “things book quickly, i would hate to see the place you want sold out.” The thing is I do not care at this moment. My biggest problem is I do not know what type of wedding I want or if I should elope or have a destination wedding. While my parents will be paying for the majority of the wedding, I could not bare to let them pay around $250 a person. I think it is crazy and I rather them give us the money to start our future (it is an option) or have a destination wedding with a small party or to just elope and have a party.
So to all the Bees out there could you give me advice? I really can use some.
Post # 3
@FutureMrsHEA: Tell people you are so focused on your studies you couldn’t imagine planning a wedding at the same time and just the thought of it stresses you out. This should make them back off because it will make them feel bad for mentioning it. As for what wedding to have you should have a wedding that represents the couples wants and wishes. If you want a destination wedding with an at home reception thats exactly what you should have. If anyone says anything about it to you I would say “oh yes isnt my plan perfect, its always been my dream, this makes me so happy” True friends will take that to heart and be happy your happy. I think not planning until May if you want to wed in 2015 is FINE. Really. Things will be open, and it will be fine. Personally we are having a 10 month engagement and had no problem booking things and thats by a big city that hosts a lot of weddings. Also this will give you time to just have fun relishing in the engagement and figuring out what things you like. Maybe when you need a break from class looking at pintrest or wedding sites for inspiration will help ease some of this anxiety over not knowing what you want by May. Look at the destination wedding board and see what thats about, and look at some of the blogs and you can get an idea of the wedding planning process. Congrats and GOOD LUCK
Post # 4
@FutureMrsHEA: What does your FI want?
We originally were going to be doing a traditional wedding, and after sitting down with FI who wanted the more traditional, he couldn’t believe how much everything cost.
I wanted small and simple, he wanted 250 of his family invited. I have 9 friends/family members I would have invited and 3 of them would have been in the bridal party. Once he saw how things were going down he realized it wasn’t really going to be “who we are” and is extremely happy with doing a destination wedding, with 14 to 20 people coming!!!
Post # 5
@FutureMrsHEA: You said, “I think it is crazy and I rather them give us the money to start our future.” From someone who has been divorced and then remarried: This is your future! If you don’t want to get married right now, you certainly have no reason to go right away! But, even if planning a wedding seems overwhelming right now, this is one of those things you never get back.
Just something to think on!
Post # 6
@waitingalongtime: +1 What does your FI think about the whole thing?
Post # 7
hey everyone thanks for your comments. I think my FI wants a traditional wedding, he is starting to hint that he wants to visit venues but I am still in my second year of my masters. I might compromise and visit one when I have a light work load one weekend. I just want to find a happy medium.