Post # 1
The way things look right now, FH and I can either afford a honeymoon or a reception, but not both.
He’s a self-employed marketing consultant, and though business is reasonably good right now Long Island is stupid expensive and this year has already had too many unexpected expenses. I’m looking for part time work while I’m still in school, but obviously we can’t rely on that income until I find a job.
The frustrating thing is, we were just planning to elope and throw a party when we got back because a) saving money obviously and b) we’d rather just do something fun and low-key anyway; but now that the choice seems to have been taken away from us it feels pretty miserable.
Reasonably speaking I know everything is going to work out fine and nothing is going to keep us from getting married…but I still want to cry.
Somebody tell me it’ll all be okay?
Post # 3
@winchesterbride67: It will absolutely be OK. I vote reception, and you will probably get enough cash gifted to you that yall can take a nice (if not short) trip!
Post # 4
@winchesterbride67: It will be okay. Go on your honeymoon and make it a weddingmoon instead. Get married while you are there and have something totally low key (like a backyard BBQ type idea) when you get back.
You’re right – the important thing is that you are getting married. The rest will fall into place. I promise. I am in the same business as your husband and it is feast or famine sometimes. It all works out in the end, even if the journey is terrifying!
Post # 5
@bkrocks13: I agree with you. My fiance and I cannot afford a honeymoon anywhere in the near future either and neither can a lot of couples these days (and many go on honeymoons on a credit card/loan and have all that to deal with once it’s over.) If the reception is very important to you (which it seems it is), I vote reception and saving some of your gifted money towards a honeymoon. Nobody says you have to go on a honeymoon right away – maybe you can save and go next year or whenever you can afford it… at least that’ll give you something to look forward to once all of your wedding stuff is done and over. 🙂
Post # 6
We spent more on our honeymoon than our wedding–and it was TOTALLY worth it!
Our wedding was one day, and the important part happened in the church! Our honeymoon was two weeks of relaxation (and baby making!)
Post # 7
@winchesterbride67: if you go somewhere to elope and then have a party when you get back, you are still paying for the same thing as a wedding and trip just in a different order.
why not have a smaller wedding or something not too elaborate and still go on your honeymoon? best of both.
Post # 8
You know, you could elope and have your honeymoon in the same place, and then wait a little while and save for the party! Maybe wait a year and make it an awesome anniversary party!
Post # 9
I’m getting married on LI too. We decided to postpone our HM because it’s just too much. Do you mind my asking what your budget is? Mine is 20k and I’ve seen it done for 10k on LI. I can help you if you need.
Post # 10
@Bubbles42: Right now we’re looking at around 5K, though if this week’s intervew went as well as I think it did we’ll be closer to 10. Which…10K is not a small amount of money, and would most likely cover everything we want. (Yeah, I’m really not kidding about the low-key party. Food, friends, and free-flowing boozamahols.) But it’s hard to go to all your friends’ massive weddings/shop their registries and not develop a skewed outlook on the whole shebang, you know?
Nargle. I’ll be glad when wedding season winds down this year.
Post # 11
@winchesterbride67: Hugs. It will be okay! I have a much more modest wedding than most of my friends (who are… mostly of the 1% crowd, like, just serious money). But I’m just SOOOO happy to be marrying the love of my life that I’ve come to accept it. Focus on what is happy and beautiful, it will be so special for you!
Post # 12
@winchesterbride67 I totally agree that weddings are super expensive! We are getting married in upstate NY. My fiance and I are still in graduate school with a lot of student loans, but most of the people we work with who have already graduated and have a steady income have elaborate wedding budgets. When we get married, we won’t have even started our careers yet, so our budget is miniscule (although we’re not ones to spend that kind of money either). If I could do it all again, I think I would do a private ceremony (what’s important) and take a vacation that allows you two to decompress and enjoy each other’s company away from the “real world”. We honeymooning at an all-inclusive resort and they have AMAZING wedding packages for those who honeymoon. If you stay 6 nights, you can get a wedding package free, with the exception of a $250 non-refundable deposit for the wedding reservation. For our 7 nights and airfare, we were definitely under $5,000. And because we stayed 7 nights, there’s extra stuff included such as a free couple’s massage! One thing we did, since we live together before marriage is have a honeymoon registry. We pretty much have every household item we need, so a gift that was meaningful to us in making memories was the right choice for us!
I had a coworker who had a destination wedding (she went to Greece and her pictures were gorgeous!) and then came home and threw a big backyard BBQ bash for their “reception”. It was an informal get together just celebrating their marriage with their friends and family! It was so “them”!
Sorry for this long rant, I was just excited about this post!
Post # 13
@winchesterbride67: Does honeymoon need to be a fantastic location and a 5 start hotel? For honeymoon, I think the only thing important is to spend alone time together. If I were in your shoes, I’d have a small reception and go to a nearby beach, stay a few relaxing days at an affordable and clean hotel. If you stay close, you can have a honeymoon under $1K. I have a friend who had $3k budget for the wedding and the honeymoon. They even had to use part of it for paying some bills as they were getting out of school. They had a cake and punch reception then drove couple hours to their honeymoon. They’re happily married and have lovely memories.
Everything is going to be fine. Be happy that you’re getting married!!
Post # 14
@winchesterbride67: it is okay and sometimes it’s okay to sulk for a second then kick yourself in the booty and get back up. *HUGS*
Post # 15
@winchesterbride67: yeah, I totally get it. For 5k I def suggest a dw or “weddingmoon” with just your parents or immmediate families. Or if it were up to me I’d get married at Town Hall & take my families out to a nice dinner.
There’s a lot you can do with 10k in this area but I wouldn’t stretch it if it’s a maybe. But for that budget, check out East Wind or Smithtown landing. There’s a fancy knights of columbus in Seaford too and they do the food I think.
Post # 16
We could only do one or the other, as well. We chose reception and will delay a true honeymoon for a while, but we did take a short trip to Chicago right after the wedding. We spent much less than most people we know because we were smart about where we put our money, did a Friday wedding, and LOTS of DIY. We had fun in Chicago, and it was nice to get away, but we definitely made the right decision as far as having a party for our friends/family.