BEES: Is your BF/SO/FI/DH an only child?

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Is your BF/SO/FI/DH an only child? Does it impact your relationship with his mother?
    Yes he is, and it causes no issues. : (9 votes)
    23 %
    Yes he is, and it causes issues. : (3 votes)
    8 %
    No he isn't. : (25 votes)
    64 %
    Other- leave a comment below : (2 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3210 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    FI is not, but I am! I do think my mama is more clingy than some, but it definitely helps that we live 1000+ miles away. It also helped a lot when she got a puppy, lol.

    Post # 4
    Member
    918 posts
    Busy bee

    Interesting, I never really thought about this.  FI is an only child, however his mother passed away before we started dating.

    ETA: I voted “Other”.

    Post # 5
    Member
    917 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    My FI is an only child and I think that, for us, it makes my relationship with his mother even better. Since she never had a daughter, she is super excited to be able to do girl things with me like shop or get our nails done. She’s wicked smart (cancer drug researcher) but definitely enjoys her girl time. She has been nothing but welcoming to me and my parents. FI was never super clingy with her, though, so my appearance didn’t cause any drama. 

    Note: I’m an only child, too, and my parents are super excited to have FI in the family. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1104 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    FI is an only child, but is not really close to either of his parents. If anything, him being an only child impacts us because he was raised a spoiled brat 😛 In all seriousness though, it doesn’t really make a difference. I’m way closer to my parents and I’m the youngest. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    3268 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @busybee3791:  My FI is not an only child– he has a brother– but I am. My FI’s and my mother’s relationship is strained, but there are things other than him taking away her “little girl” that make it difficult. 

    I do think that being an only child makes for challenging parent-child relationships– all the parents’ expectations fall on the only child, which can (and in my experience most certainly DOES) cause issues. Including the (adult) only child’s parents having problems accepting the adult child’s partner, since that person has “taken away their baby.” $%#@#Y^&^%$#!!!!!! Garumph. Can you tell I find this dynamic irksome!!!??? I sympathize if you are having issues!

    Post # 8
    Member
    905 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    FI is the oldest of 4.  FMIL is a wonderful lady, if a bit more clingy than I’m used to parents being.  She isn’t shy about telling us we don’t visit often enough.  But honestly, she doesn’t cause any actual issues.  She’s been nothing but welcoming to me, and hasn’t given me any indications that she resents my presence.  She’s just as kind to FI’s siblings’ significant others.

    The funny thing is that I’m an only child, and my parents aren’t clingy at all!  Once I started college they were like “be free, my child!”  They’re THRILLED to welcome FI to the family.  They wuv him.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1007 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @busybee3791:  FI is an only child, and my relationship with his mom is just fine. She’s awesome, and calls me her ‘angel’ (which makes me laugh).

    Post # 10
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    DH is not an only child, but has a very… Doting… Mother (who I suspect does not actually like me, but is THRILLED at the prospect of a grandchild!)

    Post # 11
    Member
    1867 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I said ‘other’ – my husband has a half sister, so he’s an only child in his mom’s family but not in his dad’s. It has been a little problematic at times in the past as there’s no one to share his mom’s craziness with… His mom would like them to be closer while my husband is happy to be quite separate, which is what causes more issues, so I’d say my relationship is less strained as I make a bit more of an effort than he does and she’s aware.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1367 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I have not had good experiences with dating only children – they were very very needy.  But I don’t think it’s necessarily always the case.

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