Post # 1
OK so my FI and I are getting married in April. I’m really excited about this! Yesterday he finished his classes and passed his test for his real estate license and already has a job lined up for a well established real estate company. I’m in school and wont finish school until August 2013 (going for paralegal and really excited)
I have a 4 year old whom I adore. She’s so fun. But due to complications in the pregnancy and after child birth and the whole child birth process I decided I didn’t want more kids, maybe one more but at least not until I’m 30 (5 more years). I wanted to finish school, get a good job and when I had the child take a year off from work to be a SAHM like I did for my 4 year old. She was crawling at 4 months walking at 7 months and off the bottle and all at exactly 1. She was potty trained at two, she learned really fast. I wanted to be able to spend the extra time with the next child like I did her.
In the last few weeks though I’ve been wanting another baby. I don’t know where this came from but I’ve been thinking “Well I can finish school while pregnant and stay at home with the baby for the first year then find a job.I keep thinking about this. And I can’t help but to get all warm and fuzzy when I see babies and I start to want one! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME? I had a plan! Wait for 5 more years until I established a good job before trying. But when I think about that I wonder if that’s the right idea since no job would want to hire me or hire me back after taking a full year off work. So maybe I should have the baby before I get the job?
I started school when my 4 year old was a new born. And I did well in school. But I was going for nursing not paralegal so I have to go the full 2 years for the paralegal which is fine by me, I’m excited. Seems like just enough time to fit a baby in right?
Talk me out of this, I had it all planned.
Post # 3
Don’t want to rain on your parade but finding a job right after you finish school is going to be important, especially in the legal field. i have a similar degree and I was offered my job while I was looking for an internship (that I had to have to complete my degree).
Post # 4
@arsing89: No worries, rain all day. That’s the reason for the post. To snap me back into reality and out of the baby craze
Post # 5
@pinkgreenandyellow: Well, if it helps. I’m super baby crazy right now. Thankfully SO talks me off that ledge a lot.
But, the legal field can be hard to get into. You don’t want to go to school and then take a year off before looking for a job (at least in the area I live in. They are super difficult to find).
Post # 6
@arsing89: That is true, but it seems here that there are more lawyers than anything else in this town and I know a few of them already. Don’t know if they will be hiring a paralegal but hopefully they will know one who is and be able to put in a good word. Around here it’s more about who you know.
That being said it is true, I should wait. But let’s see… 9 months for a baby if I started in April I would have the baby in January. Finish school in August and nope, not enough time to squeeze a year in before I finished school 🙁 Unless…. Unless I did part time for a semester? Haha J/K… But that is an idea 😉
Post # 7
lol. Going through this right now.
What I do is remember to enjoy what I have right in this moment and picture what I want for my children. I want them to be raised in a household with a Mom and Dad who can provide the financial stability that I’ve always planned. I want them to see Mommy work and Daddy work so they know that that is an option. I want them to see that Mom got her degree, got married, and then had him/her. I don’t know what but looking at it like that ALWAYS calms me down. lol. That and I need to enjoy this phase in my life before I rush into the next one. Enjoy planning your April wedding with your daughter and FI. Then enjoy being a newlywed. Then enjoy school. Then enjoy the job hunt. Then enjoy your new job. Then enjoy ttc. Then enjoy your little one. Life is too short to not treasure every second. You can’t go back on decisions like that.
Post # 8
I think it depends on whether, from a financial perspective, you will need to take any paralegal job you can find (might have heavy workloads, unpredictable hours, long commute, etc) or whether you have the flexibility to hold out for the “perfect” job. If you have the ability to wait until you find a job that fits your family/lifestyle/interests, then there’s not much reason to wait, keeping in mind that you’ll be less marketable the longer you stay out of the job market after graduating. What’s your FI’s take on the timing?
Post # 9
I waited until I was 31 to start TTC. I’m glad I had a few years to settle into a stable job, spend time with DH & our furbabies, travel, save up, etc…
Also, I have found that I’m more confident now in my 30s than I was in my 20s, which has made pregnancy a lot more fun. I’m not stressed about weight gain or my rapidly changing body. I am able to embrace these changes with an open mind and positive outlook. If I were still in my early to mid 20s, that might not be the case.
It will be awesome for your daughter to be able to spend her early childhood with your undivided attention, and as she gets older and progresses in school, you will have more time to devote to your next child so he or she also gets copious amounts of undivided attention 🙂
If waiting is right for you and your family, by all means- WAIT! If in the next year or so you and your (almost)DH change your minds, that’s ok too 🙂
Post # 10
@arsing89: finding a job right out of school is an excellent point.