(Closed) Bees, tell me I'm being stupid…

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
812 posts
Busy bee

I think he just likes his own routine and space in the mornings – I’m the same, I like having alone time to come to and do what I want to do without tripping over my SO

Post # 4
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Go to the diner with him once? 

Post # 5
Member
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@OneOfTheseDaysAlice:  I understand why it bugs you, but yes, I would say you’re overreacting a little.

The money aspect would tick me off. Especially if you’re going to be somehow combining finances, going to a diner every morning is ridiculous. Especially for a student. My guy and I take lunches into work, and eat breakfast at home or at work (I feel sick in the morning so we never eat brekkie together).

If you’ve never lived w. a guy before then this is a good learning moment. Choose your battles. You can bet an issue that is bigger than this will come up.

As far as the waitress goes, it’s a good sign that he is telling you about her. If you keep nagging, he will stop telling you and IMO that would be worse. Also you indicate that he doesn’t go to the same diner daily, so this is a good sign. I’d say from a jealousy point of view you have little to worry about.

So basically I think this is a minor thing… except for the money. Is he responsible otherwise? If so, then fine.. but if he does a lot of these daily or weekly type treats, it adds up fast, and you might want to have a chat about it. So many couples don’t discuss finances until they’re about to get married, and it can end up a disaster.

 

Post # 6
Member
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

When FI and I first moved in together, we shared a car. He had to work at 6am, and I needed it to get to to work later in the day, so I would have to wake up and drive him in the mornings. I am not a morning person, and FI is. Eventually, I had to extablish a no talking and no eye contact rule. Looking back, it was perhaps harsh, but God did his perkiness ever irrtate me.

My point is, you guys have only been living together for a few days….he has his morning routine, and he likes it. I don’t think you have anything to be jealous of-I always think that it’s the stuff they don’t tell you about that you have to worry about…and he’s coming home and telling you all about it!

Enjoy your alone time in the morning-someday you will yearn for it 😛

Post # 7
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ok I think it’s kind of ridiculous lol! If you can trust him and he has always gone it shouldn’t be a problem. If you want to save money suggest he eat with you a couple of mornings a week and put the diner money in a jar. Really I wouldn’t stress on this, telling him he has to change daily habits because he’s moved in with you could be viewed as controlling, I wouldn’t let it bother me 🙂

Post # 8
Member
4804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Some people do just like to have some space and a routine in the morning to begin their day, which I get. Why not set it up so that once or twice a week you two leave a tad earlier and you go to the diner with him?

Post # 9
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Scottish_lassie:  I think he just likes his own routine and space in the mornings – I’m the same, I like having alone time to come to and do what I want to do without tripping over my SO

 

 

I agree.  When you live together you are around each other ALL THE TIME so for those that really need their alone time, they find a way to have that.  Doesn’t mean anything against you, he just likes his routine.  Don’t nag him about it and give him a reason to have doubts about living together.  That is a big step for most guys.  As for the waitress, I wouldn’t worry about it at all, he is living with you afterall.

 

Me and my FI lived on our own for several years before we moved in together.  I know we love living together but I know we both also really enjoyed living alone so we respect each other’s “alone time”. 

Post # 10
Member
1417 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My SO used to get breakfast out every morning and would complain about money and drive me NUTS! So I started waking up like 10 mins before normal, cooking us breakfast and we would eat and go on with our normal morning routine. I can’t say anything about the waitress but I’d go with him one morning!

Post # 11
Member
7318 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

People can be creatures of habit. And it sounds like his breakfast at a diner is a habit he’d like to keep. It’s really not a big deal. He’s making a huge life tranistion by moving in with you, so it would be nice if you could make peace with his desire to keep one important part of his old routine. it’s really rather harmless, in the end.

As to your insecurities, that’s something that you need to work on. If he isn’t doing anything unsavory, what are you so worried about?

Post # 12
Member
11287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

it’s probably just routine for him.  i didn’t like my morning routine to be altered.

why don’t you just go for breakfast with him.

if you want to save the money, maybe he needs to be shown a breakdown of how much he is actually spending every week/month, etc on breakfast and how much cheaper it will be to just have cereal at home.

i had to show my dh a breakdown of expenses before he actually realized in.

Post # 13
Member
1330 posts
Bumble bee

@Scottish_lassie:  

Lady, the two of you need to go out for breakfast together at this diner.

In the meantime (cuz Im sure it will be until pigs fly that he lets you go along) you dress up in a cute maid outfit and heels, and make him an egg breakfast and serve him a breakfast to go bag.

IE: a tortilla with scrambled eggs n ham n cheese wrapped up and put in a brown bag and a thermos of coffee

IE: A bacon and tomato toasted sandwich

This will get the ball rolling with him getting some attention and also a homemade lunch.

Buh bye ex!

 

Post # 14
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Yep agree with others – its just a routine, plus some people just really like to eat out. 

Post # 16
Member
5081 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Let him have his routine.  Moving in with someone shakes everything up and can make you feel ungrounded (speaking from experience). He’s comfortable with his diner – don’t ask him to change that too.  

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