(Closed) Bees, was I a bad friend?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think you were a bad friend, you told her you would meet her. She just seems over emotional, she’ll get over it.

Post # 4
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

No, you weren’t wrong. I think she is just upset and lashing out. You offered to meet up with her, but she declined. Its not like you said, umm no, I’m with FI so deal with it yourself.  I know she is having issues, but she can’t expect you to drop everything right then and there, and hopefully once things calm down she will realize that

Post # 5
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I don’t think you did anything wrong. You offered to help her, even though you already had plans for that night. She was probably just really upset and taking it out on you.

Post # 6
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

And why couldn’t she come to his place? What would she have done if you already lived with him??

Post # 7
Member
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think she’s just in a hard place right now and is upset! You are not a bad friend!

Post # 8
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Eh, Idk, she may be really emotional. But, if it was serious enough that she left and she just wanted comfort and came to you only, maybe you should have gone to her. IDK.. But, no I don’t think you intended to be a bad friend to her, you did try.

Post # 9
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You did nothing wrong in the slightest. She is lashing out. I hope this is out-of-character for her and that she apologizes when she has a little more distance.

Post # 10
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Nope, you’re not a bad friend. You sounded totally available and caring. Hopefully once the worst of the emotion passes for her, your friendship will be find. Maybe follow up with her in a few days with something like, “The other night you seemed offended with me. I’m here for you, so I want to make sure we’re ok…”

Post # 11
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’d perhaps give a little appologize that the logistics didnt work out the way she wanted but that you’ll be there for her. 

Post # 12
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hmmm, I don’t know if she was or was not justified in being mad at you. I think it depends on the details to some extent. There are some very rare emergency occassions when you drop everything and rush to the person. I think it depends on how close you are and how serious the emergency is.

Post # 13
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You’re not a bad friend at all.  Why would she not want to go to your FI’s house?  My friends come over to his house all the time!  I feel like I’m missing something.  Does she just not feel comfortable because you guys don’t live together and you were just staying there?

At any rate, you gave her two different options, she hung up on you and didn’t take your help at all, so NO, I’d think you aren’t the bad friend in this situation. 

ETA: I’m just confused about where you were supposed to go.  You were offering her a stable place to be.  If she’s the one that left the house, wouldn’t she want to go somewhere?

Post # 14
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I don’t think you’re a bad friend. I’m sure once she calms down she’ll apologize (or at least ignore her previous comment)

Post # 15
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

No, you did the right thing – that was selfish of her to expect you to give her the conditions she preferred instead of what you were able to offer. She made her bed and has to lie in it, no pun intended, so if she’s having marital troubles she has to deal with it.

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