Bees who already lived with SO- did you feel different after getting married?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

@linnylou_88:  Nope, it hasn’t been much different. We have been together for over 10 years (married for 2/1 2 months) and lived together for 5 years before marriage.

Our priorities are changing though, since we want to buy a house. So that has changed how we discuss finances, what we spend and what our goals are.

I know you didn’t ask, but since you mentioned credit cards, just wanted to add that, credit cards themselves are NOT a bad thing. It is how one uses their credit is what is important. Credit cards can be a very responsible way of building credit. If you pay off the balance every month (or keep it very low-below 30%) it will help you become eligible for larger purchases like a mortgage.

On the other hand, not having a credit card or taking out a loan of some kind will make it very difficult to qualify for a mortgage down the road. Just something to consider 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1599 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@linnylou_88:  married two weeks and so far, feels exactly the same. I didn’t expect much to feel different. I do think maybe it’ll sink in when I change my name legally but I guess we will see!.

Post # 5
Member
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Married about 6 weeks, lived together for a year beforehand. Doesn’t feel any different and certainly hasn’t changed our relationship habbits.

Post # 6
Member
3271 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

@bkrocks13:  There is that feeling of “yay” when you get mail addressed to Mr and Mrs newlastname 🙂

Post # 7
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Feel Different… ABSOLUTELY

If there wasn’t a difference… trust me no one would truly care about getting married !!

Different as in day to day ?

In reality, to go from Living Together to Being Married, very little changes.

Altho, our financial situation changed… in that we now combine everything.. as I am a big believer in keeping things seperate without the BENEFIT of marriage.  So now truly ALL THAT I AM, AND ALL THAT I HAVE … is OURS

Other than that…

I will admit, I still have this feeling of Confusion combined with Profound HAPPINESS when someone say “Your Husband…”

And it has been 10 months already

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 8
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We lived together for a year and a half before the wedding. Nothing changed after getting married except getting used to a new name. We already had our finances combined and had a good routine worked out.

Post # 9
Member
801 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We’ve been together 8.5 years and have lived together for the last 4.5 years. For us, nothing really changed, especially since we combined our finances over a year ago and have already made two cross-country moves as a couple. I’m sure things will start feeling different once we start seriously considering purchasing a house or having children.

Post # 10
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It was an emotional difference for me. We lived together maybe 1 1/2-2 years before marriage, been married 2 years. We truly became a “we” after marriage, and I adored taking his last name.

Post # 11
Member
8916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

we had been together a LONG time (12+) years and own a home together. Getting married feels basically the same, but just a little bit more comfortable and permanent 🙂 We have merged finances 100% after marriage so that’s different. 

Post # 12
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@linnylou_88:  the way I like to describe it is nothing changed but everything changed. You’ll see! 

Post # 13
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I was wondering the same thing. My BF and I have been dating for 6 years, living together for 2.5 and bought a home a few months back. I hope things feel at least a little more special once we are married!

I have been looking forward to my engagement ring a LOT lately… and I started feeling guilty. Then I realized it’s because I already feel married!! And the ring will be just an important symbol to seal the deal. 

Post # 14
Member
4147 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Nothing changed at all!  We lived together for over 4 years before getting married – everyone said “the first year will be the hardest” “everything will change after you get married.”  Nope, not really!  The only thing was that I got to call him my husband, and I loved hearing him call me his wife.

Post # 15
Hostess
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@linnylou_88:  Honestly, no. We lived together for several years before our wedding date and after being deemed Mr. and Mrs. we came home and continued the life we were already living. While our plans and goals changed a little bit now with forever on the mind otherwise nothing much else diffeered. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I feel more security but it was already there from the get go. I also feel less guilt from a religious stand point. Now, being married, we have taken vows to work on any problems we may have before it pulls us apart, my security

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