Bees who have or had SIL drama…Advice

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
705 posts
Busy bee

uh. I have SIL issues as well. I have tried SO many times to have a relationship with mine but I’ve come to terms that will never happen. So I let my fI know that I will do any family stuff and be pleasnt with her but otherwise I just act like she doesn’t exist. It’s so sad because I wish for my fiancé it could be better but it won’t be. The only thing I can say is just be the bigger person that is the only thing that works with my  impossible SIL. Lol. Mine is crazy and I know she is jealous which is sad but I can’t fix it so I just try to be as nice as possible even though I want to smack her. ha  

As for the money thing. Helllll no. I would not be ok with that at all. 

the only person I feel bad for is my poor fiancé I wish his sister had more respect for her brother who she claims to love so much and didn’t have to put him though shit he doesn’t deserve. 

Post # 3
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I don’t think you can go wrong going forward with the intention of always being completely civil towards her with no expectation of friendship. If she chooses to snub you, her problem. 

Post # 4
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

You could always just hide her on facebook. 

Post # 5
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Keep your distance as much as possible. FI and I have cut off his sister. She is rude, arrogant, a user, a mean b*tch, a liar, and the list goes on. She cheated on her last husband with her current husband who is a total loser and is using her as much as she has tried to use other people. I NEVER wish to see her again. She is not invited to the wedding that she was supposed to be a BM in. It was that serious. We all lived together for a while and she turned into a control freak maniac and if I was not more mature it would have came to blows. Rather than slapping the taste out of her mouth, I chose to let her suffer in her misery alone and walk away. She has alienated herself from almost everyone in her family. Her family is wonderful, and she is a moron. She will not get this time back that she has and will continue to lose. She is miserable because she is in deep debt because of her stupid choice to pick this chump over her children from her previous relationship. They are not even happy and it is a marriage of convenience and appearances. Thanks to her this fool is a US permanent resident. Honestly, there is nothing to salvage from this. She is irrelevant.

There is not an easy solution to these types of situations. I would aoid dealing with her and ignore her (which is actually easier for me) rather than wasting your time trying to save something that is not worth your time. Misery loves company, and she does not seem happy in her decision to be lazy and broke. You and your FI are not a bank and you were right to pump the brakes on that situation. Don’t even stress over that chick and keep it moving! 

Post # 6
Member
7285 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Keep it cordial and respectful and block her from FB. Done. If she creates drama because of that, oh well. Your FH isn’t even on FB so he won’t care. 

Post # 7
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I, too, have had a hard time with my SIL warming up to me. She is very immature, selfish, and used to having things her way. She’s also weirdly possessive of her brother (wants to spend time with him without me – for the sake of “sibling time.”) She was a difficult bridesmaid at our wedding, refusing to accompany me and the other bridesmaids to hang out and get ready the morning of the wedding, even though I provided professional hair and makeup. She doesn’t engage in conversation with me when I am visiting with the ILs. I haven’t done anything to her that I’m aware of that would cause this kind of treatment, but still, I think it is better to just kill her with kindness when I’m around. No need to give her the cold shoulder because that will just give her an actual REASON for the treatment! Other than that, just stop thinking about it and don’t go overboard trying to fix the situation. It takes two people to make a relationship and your SIL obviously too self-absorbed to make an effort.

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