Post # 1
I met my SO in October 2012 and despite only knowing each other for a short time, we are head over heels in love with each other. Yes, I know some of it is the magic and wonder of a new relationship – but there’s definitely something hugely different about this one. I was in a 5-year relationship before this and he was in a 4-year. We both know what we want from a relationship, and each other is pretty much it. I’ve never felt so comfortable with another person; the times I thought I was baring my soul to my ex pale in comparison to the way I feel I can confide in this man. And he’s told me multiple times he’s absolutely certain he’ll never find someone like me.
Anyway. We’re currently long distance while he interns in California. It’s been hard having so much separation, but it’s given us a great chance to get to know each other inside out because we talk constantly. Last night, we were skyping and he mentioned once again how great it’d be for me to move out there with him (he’s fairly certain they’re going to offer him a job once he completes his master’s in May, and if not he’s got interest from several other companies in the area).
So I suggested we just do it. I’m looking for a change – vastly unhappy with my current job, so ready to move away from this city which I feel is a dead end for me at this point. I’ve always wanted to live on the west coast and, more importantly, I want to live with him. But I’m nervous about talking to friends and family (besides my mom, she’s head-over-heels for him and wants me to marry him tomorrow haha) about it because I’m not sure they’ll understand.
Anyway, I’d love to hear some Bees’ thoughts and experiences on moving in together at an early stage in the relationship. How did it work out? Did you experience negativity from family/friends about it?
ETA: In case anyone is curious, my SO and I are both 25.
Post # 3
We moved in after 11 months. We would have moved in sooner (like 6 months) but we were both stuck in leases and had roommates.
My family was supportive. I was an adult and they loved him. However, A couple of my friends were very judgemental, and to be honest it sort of put a damper on our friendship.
I believe that when you know, you know. Its 5 years later and we are married and own a house. I knew it was right and neither of us regret our decision.
Post # 4
Have you always been in a long distance relationship with him?
Post # 5
I’m a firm believe that you shouldn’t live with someone unless you both believe that marriage is the next step (unless, of course, both parties never want to get married).
I’ve had too many friends break up after a little bit and go through the painful process of splitting up the stuff, sleeping in different rooms, and have to continue to live together until the lease is up/someone finds somewhere else to live.
And I’ve had friends who have stayed in unhappy relationships because they live with that person, and it’s just easier.
I live with my fiance and we’ve been living together for 2 years. It’s been wonderful, and I recommend living with someone before a marriage. But every time you make a commitment to someone, it comes with it’s own risks.
So as long as you are both of the same page as to where it’s going, you should find it an enjoyable experience
Post # 6
My fiance and I moved in after 3 months of being together (3 years ago). It sounds crazy and impulsive but when you know, you know.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge
My FI and I met in Sept 2009, we moved officially moved in together in Jan 2010 but we basically lived together all the months in between. In Feb 2010 we got engaged.
Post # 8
We met while both working as entertainers on a cruise ship. He was my boss actually! We were on the ship together for 4 months and we’ve been long distance (I’ve been in Spain and he’s been in England) for the last 5 months or so. Tomorrow is the end of my contract here and I fly home to Scotland where he’ll meet my family for the first time! We’ll be staying at my flat in Scotland for a week before heading down to his for a week to meet his friends and visit his parents again (I met them on the ship and have stayed in touch since) and then were both going to drive back up to Scotland with all of his stuff and move him into my place officially! Overall we’ll have been together for 9 months when we move in together. I can’t wait – bring on tomorrow!!
Post # 9
FI and I started dating at 16. At 18 we went to colleges 400 miles apart and did LDR for 4 years (it was a good incentive to graduate on time). As soon as I graduated (FI has one more online class to go) we moved in together. We moved as soon as we were fully supporting ourselves, but we’d been together for 6 years before that, so it wasn’t exactly early in the relationship. My parents and his father were ok with it, but his mom is upset because ‘we’re living in sin’. We’ve just decided we’re adults and we can make our own decisions, our families are just going to have to accept that. I think the same attitude could work for you.
Post # 10
@KateByDesign: No – when we met and started dating, he lived here and we spent a lot of time together. It was kind of one of those first dates that never really ended, lol. If it had always been long distance, I’d be way more cautious, but this long distance element is just a recent development (but we’re doing pretty great at it).
@BeachBride2014: Thanks for that! Yeah, crazy as it is we’ve already talked about marriage a bit and I honestly do think that’s where it’s headed. And I have been through the headache of splitting the stuff/breaking up, so I know what you’re talking about.
Post # 11
@MissCalifornia: Oh okay, good to know!
Before my DH, I was dating a guy and we moved in together after 3 months. It was the reason why our relationship ended. We were super in love before we moved in together, but once we lived together we REALLY got to know one another and it was such a disaster in the end. I learned my lesson then that it would take A LOT for me to move in with someone else before marriage.
My DH and I dated for two years before we moved in together and it of course worked out fine.
But if you’re moving across the country to live with this guy, just be 100% sure that it’s not headed anywhere BUT marriage.
Post # 12
We moved pretty quick. I moved into his house about 5 months after we started dating. However, looking back, ideally we would have waited a little bit longer. The situation I was in kind of hurried the process along. My roommate that I was renting a house with – her fiance decided to take a year-long position in Guam and asked her to come with him. We still had 9 months left on our lease and I didn’t want to force her to be away from her fiance when I had been offered a place at my now-husband’s house, so I agreed to break the lease with her and move in him.
Post # 13
We’re moving in together this summer. We’ve been together for nearly 7 years but we were 16 when we first got together, so we’ve just been waiting to get ourselves through uni/ postgrad/ find jobs to get the ball rolling properly. So excited!
Post # 14
We too were LD so we moved in sooner than we probably would have if we were in the same city. We moved in between 9 & 10 months. Best thing we ever did IMO.
Post # 15
@BeachBride2014: And I’ve had friends who have stayed in unhappy relationships because they live with that person, and it’s just easier.
Ugh, this was my last relationship.
FI and I moved in together officially after 2 years, but he basically lived with me after a year.
Post # 16
@MissCalifornia: I met my now fiance in October 2009 and we moved in together in February 2010. Not necessarily because we wanted to live together, although that was a part of it, but because we both had to get a place so we decided to get one together.
He made some bad life decisions and ended up moving in with his Grandmother for a few months to get on his feet.
I left my very abusive ex and drove across country to get away and had no where to go so I moved in with my Grandmother. After meeting my now fiance, we dated a while and we needed to get out from our grandparents home and ended up moving in together. I was 22, he was 23