Bees who struggled to TTC- Bring in the DH?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
  • poll: Bring in DH? What Can I expect?
    Yes- Bring him in! : (30 votes)
    79 %
    No- Tell him about it later : (3 votes)
    8 %
    Expect blood work or other tests : (2 votes)
    5 %
    Just talk for the first meeting, tests will be later : (3 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1973 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @MissLunchbox:  I think in your shoes I would bring DH if he could make it. If she wanted to do a pelvic eam or anything I might as him to step out or stay by my head, but I think you guys are in this together and he should be as informed about the fertility stuff that impacts you both as you are.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3677 posts
    Sugar bee

    If I were in your shoes, I would definitely want DH there for the visit, both for support and to make sure he gets the same information you do about what may be going on and what your options are. He might also think to ask questions that don’t occur to you (and vice versa), which will be helpful for both of you getting a better understanding of your situation.

    Post # 5
    Member
    307 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @MissLunchbox:  I actually went to my doctor yesterday to just talk about next steps.  We’ve only tried for 6 cycles but wanted to be pro-active since we are both a little older.  I lied and said it had been 8 months (which it actually has been but we had to TTA for a couple months due to sister’s destination wedding coming up). She is having me do blood tests a couple days after I ovulate this month to check hormone levels.  Unless you just recently ovulated blood samples likely won’t be taken. My DH wasn’t with me but my Dr asked me a bunch of question regarding his past health (all of which I did not know the answers to) so maybe having him would be beneficial. Your DH will need to go for a SA as well to make sure his swimmers are all good.  Good luck with your appointment.  I hope it all works out for you! 

    Post # 6
    Member
    388 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I would definitely bring my husband! You’re going to have to explain it to him afterwards anyways. I would probably have had him leave the room during an exam in the early days, but now we’ve been through so much I don’t care.

    You should just call up the office and ask what you can expect from this first visit so you are prepared.

    A side note – I wouldn’t be so sure you’re not ovulating. Unless there is additional information about you that she knows, just having long cycles and a sister with PCOS doesn’t mean you’re not ovulating. Especially since you’ve only been trying for 2 cycles.

    Post # 7
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @Utopia4us:  It’s nothing he hasn’t seen before 😉

    @MissLunchbox:  We always go the doctor together, so I would definitely bring him. This is an issue that will impact you both, so it makes sense that he is there. With two of you, you will have a better chance of remembering everything the doctor says.

    Post # 8
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @babymakes3:  You’re the second person to say that! My FI has seen me go through a lot of procedures. He has seen me totally naked before (and does on a daily basis), so I can’t imagine caring about that element.

    Post # 10
    Member
    9092 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Have you been experiencing any other symptoms?  That’s most likely what they’ll talk about the most.  Like if they suspect PCOS, have you had weight gain, hair growth in odd places, hair loss from your head, acne, depression etc.  I was diagnosed with PCOS 8 years ago and actually determining the symptoms was the first things we talked about and then when I went back after 4 months of trying (we were able to get around waiting because I gained THIRTY POUNDS in two months as soon as I went off the pill which was controlling most of my symptoms so things had obviously gone haywire).  They ordered blood work and an ultrasound, but didn’t do it actually in the office while I was there.  So, nothing that embarrassing besides discussing my moustache…

    Post # 11
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Absolutely bring him.  My FH was really good about rationalizing my recent procedure which helped me calm down and not be so upset over the prospect of the procedure rendering me infertile.  It definitely brought us closer. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    9092 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @MissLunchbox:  multiple positive OPK’s is a common thing with PCOS.  Levels go high enough to register, because you’re essentially trying to ovulate 3-12 eggs so the hormones get picked up as more than enough to ovulate one.  But it’s essentially spread too thin to actually actually effectively ovulate sometimes.  But sometimes you will – took us 19 months, but we did get pregnant without much intervention. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1973 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @MrsPanda99:  Hahah that is totally true, but to me, him seeing me in a sexual or intimate way is different from being up in the stirrups while the doc probes around up in there.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3153 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I agree with the others, DH should be there. If they do a pelvic they will ask him to step out of the room (they did for me) and then they will go over what to expect. It helped having DH in the room to have an extra set of ears. Sometimes when you’re expecting the worst, or hear the worst, you don’t always take everything in.

    It sounds like you may have PCOS with your body gearing up to O but failing. I also have PCOS and I do ovulate, just not strong enough and my hormones are out of whack. My doctor told me since I was diagnosed with PCOS prior to TTC, we would only need to wait 6 months before seeking help with Clomid. I think with a true diagnosis of PCOS, they shouldn’t make you wait any longer. Good luck!

    Post # 15
    Member
    4526 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I have never taken DH to a regular OB appointment, even when I just went to talk to my OB about my strugles, I didnt think it was necessary for him to be there.  All she did was go over my cycles and then she ordered ultrasounds and blood work.  My blood work wasnt done all at once, since they have to wait for a certain time of your cycle to do so. 

    However, when I had an appointment with my RE a couple weeks ago, YES, DH did come with me and it was a two hour appointment where we went through every medical record and spoke about our “plan” – IUI.  I guess if your DH wants to go, then bring him in.  I am sure he just wants to be supportive, which I think its so wonderful. 

     

    Also, feel free to join our 6+month TTC Thread.  Those ladies there are wonderful and most of us are going or have already gone through all these medical steps 😉

     

    GL girl!

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