Bees with anxiety…any advice?

posted 3 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

I have anxiety disorder, along with bipolar disorder, and depression. I get VERY anxious about big things, as well as all the little things. I went on holiday for three weeks recently with my family and FI, I was stressed out and anxious every day. I usually just try to breathe through it and if it gets too much I take valium. I try to avoid that if I can though. The therapy with my psychiatrist helps, and the valium does help when it is really bad. I highly recommend talking to a professional about getting therapy or maybe even getting medication.

Post # 4
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

First, breathe. Just breathe in an out slowly in a moment of panic. Second, there should be one break up in your life, but not with your FH. It’s time to break up with caffeine. It is toxic for us anxious girls. It can turn jitters into panic very easily. 

Make those calls about therapy, and find someone you trust. Even positive, exciting change causes stress in our lives. If you’re on medicine, take it, every day. For a lot of those meds, taking your dose erratically is worse than never taking it all. Think about it, they adjust your brain chemistry. Taking them irregularly sends your poor brain up, then down, up, then down. 

Be patient with yourself, and never berate yourself for feeling anxious or sad. You are strong and capable, and you can and will survive this

Post # 6
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Jacqui90:  oh man, I have all the same diagnoses as you. Everyone is a bit different, obviously, but that’s a rough combo. They kind of trigger each other all around in an ugly cycle. 

@aquarius_91:  

When I’m anxious about something, all of a sudden I’m anxious about EVERYTHING. It spins out of control and gets a bit irrational sometimes. And then I get frantic, don’t sleep, get restless, sleep less, anxious, agh… That’s where the meds help a ton – they break the cycle by letting me relax, breathe, sleep. Like a reset button. 

So while meds aren’t something you just take regularly and magically things are better forever, they are a good way to have an occasional time out so you can more effectively implement strategies to manage your stress, and have them working by the time they wear off. That’s where therapy is good. For me therapy is a safe place to vent and work through problems with a bit of neutral guidance. I have also worked with her on strategies and tools to work through my anxiety. For me, going on a long hike when I have time, and writing a lot, and doing crafty projects with my hands helps a lot. Therapy can be anything you want it to be, whatever helps you most. 

Also… these are big life events! Don’t feel bad or weird about being anxious, you are not the only one and it doesn’t mean anything necessarily. Like you said, it’s not always logical. Remind yourself that your mind has a love affair with imaginary disaster (mine does for sure). I’m terrified of all the what ifs even though all my good sense tells me I’m absolutely making the right decision, and we will handle those situations as they come.

If it helps, write down all the reasons why you are SURE you are making the right decision, put it in your wallet, and whip it out from time to time. And/or give yourself a minute to write down the obsessive thoughts, then put it all away to think about at a later designated time. (I swear it works at least a little bit!)

Sorry that was so long, but I hope that helps. 

Post # 7
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

It was JUST diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder after years of having panic attacks.  My father and sister get them as well.  I just try to remain calm and focus on my breathing.  I have also been put on Lexapro and xanax for when I get an attack and its actually helping a lot.

Post # 8
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I was in remission from anxiety and panic UNTIL I got engaged! The planning and the questions and the money that go into it all sent me into a panic. To be honest, I wouldn’t go to things like tarot readings and whatnot with anxiety – it will likely just make things worse for you which you don’t need right now. Your best bet is to get into counseling and make finding a therapist a priority. 

Post # 9
Member
4215 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

CBT, Rhodiola, also I’m trying a medication for ADHD right now to calm the endless thoughts/chatter. I only take a Xanex if I’m totally in a panic attack. Deitary changed have also really helped. CBT is the best though. You learn to break out of negative thinking and ruminating. 

Post # 10
Member
736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@aquarius_91:  I have severe Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Cluster C (OCD) traits. PM me sometime if you need someone to chat with. 

Post # 11
Member
8905 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@hedgehogcatcher:  +1, great post.  My brilliant talented handsome charming fiance has all three of those conditions as well, and it blows my mind how the spiral of negative thoughts can affect someone who is as universally loved and admired as he is.  Powerful stuff!

He also has a prescription for Valium and does take that when his anxiety comes in particularly strongly.  It’s not a solution and he goes through a lot of other steps to try to calm himself before taking a pill, but it really does help reset his brain when necessary.

Post # 12
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I have Anxiety Disorder NOS as well as depression and I’ve had my share of anxiety issues regarding the wedding and other big life changes. Aside from being on medication, I’ve found that talking/texting with others helps.

Feel free to PM me if you’d like to talk!

Post # 14
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@aquarius_91:  Don’t worry about the Tarot thing. I had someone do that for me a year back and she said we’d have an argument on X date, and X date has come and gone TWICE and we’re fine. Plus the entire thing was totally off. I figure they only have as much power as you give them. 

I also have fairly bad anxiety. It’s definitely not fun, and I agree with PPs in that talking to people is sometimes the best medicine. At the very least it helps. I usually worry that I don’t love FI “the right way,” but after I calm down, I realize there is no right way. Anxiety just doesn’t make sense. It’s debilitating, scary, and something no one should need to go through alone. If you should ever feel the need, please shoot me or other PPs a PM.  I would love to talk to you should you need to chat. Or want to.

@hedgehogcatcher:  I never thought about the writing down thing. I might put that in my tool set!

Post # 15
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@aquarius_91:  I have pretty bad anxiety but I’ve never been formally diagnosed with anything. I’ve been engaged for a month and I really didn’t realize how much planning would affect my anxiety. All I’ve done so far is contact vendors to request price lists and stuff like that, and I’ve already had a couple of meltdowns over things that are entirely theoretical. And budget. Weddings are ridiculously expensive. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do when we actually have to start making real plans. 

Post # 16
Member
4896 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I have severe GAD & panic disorder, what works for me, most of the time is therapy & the right combo of meds.

Yoga helps a lot as well.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, I know how awful it can be.

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