Post # 1
So rather than my emotional post I wrote earlier, wanted to see some different views.
If you have fertility disorders or it’s taken you longer to TTC than you thought….do you wish you’d started sooner?
I have PCOS and Endo, but we’re revisiting our TTC timeline.
Post # 3
The older you get the harder it gets. Combined with fertility issues, it gets even more complicated.
However, with that said, if you’re not ready, then it’s not the right time, regardless if your delay may cause more physical issues.
EDIT: To answer your question, even though I wish I would have done it earlier for sanity sake, it wasn’t the right time for me. So no regrets. Who knows if it would have been easier any earlier.
Post # 4
@mwitter80: Thanks for your response. My issue is that the unknown and what-ifs really get to me. I’ve got anxiety issues anyway, so that doesn’t help. I’m not sure if I’m ready or not – not because I don’t think we would be good parents or fine in other aspects, but really, comes back to the what-ifs.
Post # 5
No, we started when the time was right for us even though we knew there was a possibility of issues. When I had my surgery in Jan 2008 for my endo and lost my right fallopian tube and ovary, I was told by the surgeon that it would be best if I had my first child in the next 3 years. We weren’t even engaged yet or close to it and were no where near ready. So here 4 years later and infertile, I still would not change a thing.
Post # 6
I’m a pcos patient as well, diagnosed for about 7 years. I got the diagnosis before I even met my husband so it’s always been a discussion on the table. We started to ttc a year after our wedding (I was 27) kind anticipating that it would take a while, but would have been delighted if it happened right away. I think if we’d started sooner it would have been a bad idea at this point (7 months ttc) and that if it takes a year or even a little more to actually get pregnant i’ll still be happy with our timing. If it turns out we waited too long and it’s completely off the table I may be singing a different tune.
Post # 7
@MissGreen: That is interesting to know – how are you guys approaching it now, if you don’t mind me asking? I always forget which bees go with which story.
@SapphireSun: That last part is exactly where I’m coming from with my worries. If it takes a year or more, like I expect it to, then we’re alright. No harm done. But if I can’t have kids at all, though there are plenty viable alternatives and I am perfectly okay with adopting (I have 1 adopted sister and another adopted sister on the way, obviously it’s pretty normal in my family) I still know I would have some twinge of regret. The unknowns. Urgh. Btw, good luck to you guys. 🙂
I think the huge different between you guys’ stories and mine is that Fiance and I were already serious when I found out. We had already been together over 3.5 years. When my Dr was guessing about the PCOS we were about 6 months from getting engaged (it was summer 2010-ish) but then when it was confirmed and when I had my LAP for Endo we had already been engaged for close to a year. We never planned on waiting too long for kids anyways – our magic number, prior to fertility as an issue, was always me being 24/25-ish and Fiance being 26-27-ish. The other reason that isn’t ideal NOW is because I’ll be smack-dab in the middle of a Graduate program (it’s a combined M.Ed./Ed.S. that takes 3 years).
Post # 8
I don’t have an informed answer to this since I’m not ttc yet but it’s something I think about ALOT and dance between timelines of when we will start trying. I have PCOS and thyroid issues. Some days I want to wait a year post wedding (which will take us to Xmas 2013) or I want to start trying as soon as we’re married, Nov this year.
I’m running with the assumption that I’ll have some difficulty/won’t be able to get pregnant anyway and worry that by leaving it I’m just timing myself out of luck. Would like to hear others POV on this.
Post # 9
I voted “No” because while I sort of wish we had started sooner, and I would have been a younger mom, I definitely wasn’t ready. I’m BARELY ready now, but took the leap because I was close enough and I was expecting to potentially run into some problems with my Endo and history of HPV.
It took us almost a year to get pregnant and I’m almost glad it did, because it made me appreciate it so much more when we got that BFP. I think the whole waiting/trying process made me realize I was more ready than I thought… don’t think I would have ever been fully confident in such a huge decision otherwise!
Post # 10
I don’t wish we’d started sooner because we had already pushed up our timeline when we started trying. Like SapphireSun, I was diagnosed with PCOS before I’d even met Darling Husband so it was always something that was on our radar. At first we were planning on waiting a year after the wedding but we reevaluated right before we got married and decided that we were at a place where we were both ready and we’ve been trying ever since.
Post # 11
We couldn’t have started sooner, because we started right after getting married. And we were married at the right time for us, so I don’t have regrets. BUT, I wish I had known about the dozen fibroids, that I’d probably miscarry (which I did) and that I could have had the abdominal surgery, tube removed earlier so we could have just gone right to IVF and not gone through so much pain and infertility struggles up until now!!
Post # 12
@AmeliaBedelia: I think that is a huge difference. It’s so natural toplans a life together that looks a certain way and I kind of think there’s more of a grieving process when its more concrete ideas. Whereas I was so early that I had a lot of time to build my own life that might be no kids or adoption etc and theN seek out a partner who was open open to it as the early building blocks of our relationship beIng aware of potential challenges.
Not that I don’t think couples who find out later cant do well too, just different.
Post # 13
@SapphireSun: I agree completely about the grieving process. I think that’s pretty much exactly what I’m going through now. I don’t want to put myself in a place where I have regrets that I feel RESPONSIBLE for. Being in control of your own destiny and all that. I think Fiance and I need to get to that place you mentioned, where adoption is a more real option rather than an alternative. It’s so weird, because my family is so full of adoption stories, I just never knew I’d be in the same position prior to trying.
@Jenn23: Do you think you would have taken a different path if you had known? Just thoughts?
@Running Elley: I guess we are in that pre-marriage same place. We have to sort of grieve, like SapphireSun said, before we can make a sound decision I think. It’s tough, but I’m not telling you anything new I know.
@PandasWifey: It really is something that I don’t think can be a “firm decision.” It’s more of a series of discussions. That is, until you get that BFP that we all want so badly. 🙂
@WaitingweddingBE: I’m sorry that you’re in a similar position. :/ I know there are no right answers.
Post # 14
@AmeliaBedelia: We were pursuing adoption but since have decided to wait. We are in that soy working through some things that have effected us and our family and it came out through that how bad we were grieving and holding it in. I’m back inschool and we will reevaluate in the fall. We may get a second opinion, we may jump straight to adoption, who knows. We are happy where we are right now and want to think everything through before making any decisions.
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia
Yes, I kind of wish we had – but at the same time, I’m glad we didn’t.
We already went about things a different way, what with beginning our TTC journey before we were married. I don’t think it would have made a difference though, since I have so many problems with ovulation, and because we weren’t in a financial position to take up further RE advice earlier than when we originally did.
But still.. it doesn’t stop me from wondering that if we’d started earlier, we might have a baby, or at least a pregnancy, by now. =/
Post # 16
WTH does me last post mean? I hate auto correct. It meant to say we are in couples therapy helping us with the adoption issue and working through our grief.