Bees with non-romantic SO's unite!

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is your SO romantic?
    Yes, he's thinking of little things to brighten my day all the time! : (7 votes)
    8 %
    Yes, sometimes. : (8 votes)
    9 %
    No, not really. Occasionally. : (47 votes)
    55 %
    Never. On the same boat as you! : (23 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1987 posts
    Buzzing bee

    alpinebride:  Don’t worry–you’re not alone! 🙂 My husband is pretty clueless when it comes to romance (for example, up until this Valentine’s Day, he had never bought flowers. One time he said, ‘Oh, I was going to buy some to surprise you just because but I forgot’). But he really is quite sweet and thoughtful in lots of other ways–especially birthday, Christmas and anniversary presents. He takes time to think about what I would like or something I really need. For my first birthday together, he kept hinting at a big gift that we’d have to go together to pick out and of course I’m thinking,’oh, god, this is it! A sparkly for my finger!’ and we–I kid you not–pull right up in front of a jewelry store….to go to the eye doctor next door instead. He took me for an eye exam and bought me a pair of new glasses because at the time I couldn’t afford to do it and mine were like ten years old and causing migraines. It really was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me. 

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  MrsYokiman. Reason: grammar fail
    Post # 3
    Member
    1888 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    alpinebride:  Hear you there!  My SO is the most non-romantic guy.  I grew up watching my dad who was the most loyal and stand by you person, but he was an engineer and had no clue about romance, so when I met my SO (who is a scientist) I knew not to expect romance.  I try to remind myself of all the amazing qualities that he does have (if I’m in a bind or have a crisis he’s there no problem), but sometimes I do feel like screaming “flowers once in awhile!”, “please something mildly romantic!”.   The fact that I am a hopeless romantic doesn’t help.  This is still something we’re negotiating so if you have any hints or tips I’d love to hear (right now I’m about to stangle him because I just finished my first day of my new job and nada for any sort of romantic gesture).

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  renwoman.
    • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  renwoman.
    Post # 4
    Member
    922 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    You are soooo not alone! FI has had a few moments throughout our relationship that shine through, but for the most part he is completely clueless when it comes to being romantic. 

     

    Example: today I came home from work and he was so excited that he had bought me a gift. He couldn’t wait for me to see it and waa texting me the whole way home about it. What was the gift You ask? A new Brita water pitcher. That’s right, his idea of romance is surprising me with a new water filter. Bless his heart. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    2280 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

    Haha I love my non-romantic husband!  He is fantastic in so many other ways, I promise ;]

    For my birthday like 3ish years ago he got me something I “had been wanting for a while.”  You guys, I got a bookshelf ..a Wal-Mart bookshelf!  In his defense, I did really want/need one & I was constantly going back & forth on whether or not I should invest in one or just buy a cheapy haha.  Bless him!

    Post # 6
    Member
    4918 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    We’re not a romantic couple, although Dh is a natural when it comes to appropriate PDA, ie holding my hand, gently rubbing my back– just a perfect amount.

    When it comes to actually doing things for me, he’s off the charts good.

    And he does give me jewlery as gifts.

    Romance isn’t really my thing at this point in my life.  He always remembers V Day, B Day, anniversary, etc, so I’m content.  

    I couldn’t begin to list all of the things he actually does for me, though.  It’s his way of showing love.  I’ll take his rock steady dependability over Mr Romance any day of the week.

    I’m a lucky girl!

     

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    532 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    alpinebride:  I don’t think men are as romantic as they used to be. They’re modern men. Or at least they are not as romantic as we all wished they’d be! We’ve all seen too many movies haha and men are simple creatures. Whilst my SO isn’t romantic in traditional ways or very often, I wouldn’t go as far to say as he isn’t romantic as he has done things, big and small, over the years that are romantic and sweet. We don’t do valentines day, and he’s rubbish at buying presents and hates wrapping them and hates receiving gifts but it is kind of romantic at how much he still wants to get me birthday and christmas presents, despite how much of a hassle it seems to be for him haha. About twice a year when he flies home from work he brings me a present, just because. Perfume or something etc. But then there’s things like he says he’ll wash my car for me this afternoon, that’s not standard romance but it’s his way of doing something nice for me. That or him saying he’ll clean the whole house himself without my help.

    He pulled off a great romantic surprise once – in 2012 we were apart for 3 months because of his work and two days before he was due home his father comes round in the morning for a cup of tea and then says he’ll pop back in in the afternoon. I was busy baking and had stains on my apron and he appears and says he has a delivery but it’s too big to bring into the house so I come outside and there getting out of his Dad’s car is my SO!! The two of them sneakily orchestrated a plan to have him come home and surprise me, they’d been telling me the wrong date all along. It was a brilliant surprise.

    Post # 9
    Member
    532 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    lollygagon:  aww bless. We have moments like that too! I recently sent my FI to the supermarket with a list. He hates the supermarket so he had a little moan when he came back. I’d written down to get carrots, and not a giant bag like he always buys because they’ll go to waste. Just get one or two. So he comes back all triumphant and says “wait till you see what I got you!” at this point I had no idea this is related to grocery shopping at all, how silly of me to think it could be a gift…! He reappears from his car with a giant carrot being amazingly pleased with his present for me. Bless.

    Post # 10
    Member
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    MrsYokiman:  aw that is so disappointing but so adorable all at once!!

    Post # 11
    Member
    655 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

    You are not alone, My FI is not romantic, i have found myself sometimes trying to explain the importance of doing such things. But he doesn’t get it. I think he will start off with good intentions, but something comes up or he forgets. Or runs outta time.

    He will sometimes wash dishes for me, or call me and tell me he intened to do it….but you guessed it….lost track of time. For whatever reason that doesn’t bother me. I figure good intentions must count for something? right?

    He is really good on christmas, my birthday, valentines day. He does his best to make those days special.

    If I had to think of one thing that stands out to me as truly being romantic, i’d have to say it was the proposal. That was truly romantic. I was honestly wowed by it.

    He has a lot of really other great quailites. He’d do almost anything for me. He’s kind, he’s understanding, he’s partical. And I can see how much he loves me in his everyday actions.

    Because he is such a woinderful man, i have let the hopes of big or small romantic gestures go. In the grand scheme of things i guess they aren’t really all that important anyway.

    Post # 12
    Member
    132 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    Mine has no clue how to be romantic, bless his heart. I never got a proposal, we sat down one night and I told him we needed to set a wedding date, we’d been together 7 years at that point and he replied “How about Halloween?” and viola we were engaged. He’s great about doing little things though. He cleans, cooks, takes care of our 4 year old daughter(I work 7 days a week between my job and my clinicals) and even watches all of my tv shows with me, no matter how much he hates them.

    You are definitely not alone in the unromantic SO department.

    Post # 13
    Member
    285 posts
    Helper bee

    Yep, my bf is not romantic either.  I think he probably averages one romantic gesture per year (we’ve been together for almost 5 years).  When it comes to gifts, I have to give him a list of what I like!  He’s never done anything for our aniversaries, apparently “it doesn’t count unless you’re married”.  So I’m not expecting much for our 5th aniversary on the 11th…

    That being said; he is lovely, caring, loyal, honest, never jealous or judgemental and is hard-working.  I think it’s romantic that he leaves for work at 5 am 6 days a week, and doesn’t get home until 5:45 pm, to be the main bread-winner.  

    Post # 14
    Member
    1107 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    My fella always means well but when he rolled the dice for romance, he got a -20! He is always very loving and tells me often and does try and help me around the house, which I’m very thankful for…not a lot of guys are like that! But I would LOVE! if one time he would just ….suprise me with flowers, do something romantic on a whim…etc! Nope! Nothing like that in the near three years we’re together. I can only assume my proposal will be just as non-romantic!

    Post # 15
    Member
    3828 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I got a microwave for Christmas. 

     

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