Bees with step parents…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

@PetuniaPie:  I am not super close to my step dad, so I don’t know exactly what you are going through :/ but that sounds tough.

I would ask my step dad if I was closer to him though, I mean yeah your dad may be a little hurt, but he has to realize he must have some part in the relationship not being as close as it should.

Maybe you can have one on each side OR walk down with your father and have your step dad meet you half way at a pew and take you the rest of the way to the alter.

I think that would be a beautiful way to incorporate everyone.

Post # 4
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@PetuniaPie:  my dad adopted me when I was in 8th grade..he’s been around since i was 4.  My bio dad just started being in my life again after i was in a bad car accident 2 years ago…I always knew my dad would be the one to walk me down the aisle, but i didn’t expect my bio-dad to ever actually put effort into the relationship since he never did in the past.  I actually put of telling him that my dad was walking me down the aisle as long as possible bc i wanted to be able to tell him without my step mom (who is a drama queen).  I finally told him 2 weeks ago..I know he was hurt, and I knew he would be…but I also know that he understands.  2 years of effort doesn’t make up for the previous 26 years. But because he has been trying, I asked him to do a reading to involve him in the ceremony and also gave him the choice of if he wanted to have the first father/daughter dance…or the last one.  He chose first, and my dad understood and didn’t have any issues with my decision.

Post # 5
Member
2162 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My dad died before I met FI so I was lucky that I didn’t have to make such a hard choice…but my friend had both her stepfather and her father walk her down the aisle at the same time. It was perfect.

Post # 6
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Can you have each one of them walk you part way? I have seen it done once (one walked the bride halfway & the other took her and then passed her on to the groom) and it was a very touching moment.

Post # 7
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

My mom is walking me down the aisle 🙂

Post # 8
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

A girl I worked with had her 4 parents (2 parents & 2 steps) involved. Step mum & step dad walked her halfway down, then parents walked her rest of way to the front. If it’s not going to cause massive friction, that’s one option?

Post # 9
Member
589 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Kazza:  I love the idea of a mom walking her daughter down the aisle. Who says that a man should give away a woman anyway.

Post # 10
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@PetuniaPie:  If your biological father will be at the wedding then I strongly suggest asking him to walk you down. I think it would be a huge insult to ask the step father instead but thats just my opinion. I doubt the step father will be offended but maybe talk to him about it first

Post # 11
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@PetuniaPie:  I am much closer to my dad than my stepdad, so my dad was the one who walked me down the aisle ultimately. My step-parents got corsages/boutonnieres and were a part of the family pictures/festivities, but other than that, I didn’t have much of a role for them. My folks remarried late, so everyone was okay with this.

I initially suggested that my mom & dadcwould walk me down the aisle together, or that I could just walk down the aisle alone. Neither of those ideas went over well, so I caved and just had my dad walk me down the aisle. We had a pretty self-directed wedding that was light on tradition, but this was one place where I felt a lot of family pressure.

If you think you can talk to your dad and stepdad about your idea to have stepdad walk you down the aisle without hurting anyone’s feelings, I say that’s what you do. If you’re worried that it will become World War III if you try, consider walking alone because it may not be worth the headache.

Post # 12
Member
2047 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@PetuniaPie:  I had them both walk me…. my mom tried to sell me on the halfway down thing and I just think thats awkward as hell cause someone is just standing in the middle of the aisle…and then someones left standing alone when you continue??

edit: Either way both worked for me… I walked out in the doorway by myself and had a 10-15 second pause so my DH could see me and then they both walked over and took my arms.

 

 

 

Post # 13
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Hugs.  First, every step family is different.  If your dad has been in your life, and especially if he always paid child support, I think it would be disloyal not to have him walk you down the aisle.  Whatever you decide, you should discuss with him in private.   If SM wont let you talk to him alone, that to me would be a red flag that he doesnt value your relationship so much.  But if you see him plenty, and can see him alone when you want, that should not be the case.  In Jewish weddings, typically both bioparents walk the bride (or groom) down the aisle.  I like that.

Post # 15
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

@PetuniaPie:  I did, as my dad passed away so it’s either my mom or no one waking me down the aisle. I do have a step dad but I’m not as close with him so I’d really prefer it be my mom.

Post # 16
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m closer to my sTep dad even tho my dad is still in my life.

My mom and step dad walked me down the aisle. My step mom did a reading, and my dad had the first dance.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors