Post # 1
My dad died almost 12 years ago, i got engaged couple of months ago and the first thing it came to my head was he is no gonna be here. I had thought about it before and i had said it to my mum that she would have to walk with me but i only had that empty feeling now that it is actually happening.
Now i am facing a new challenge after my dad die i moved to australia and 4 years after my mum move to the US with her family, i see my mum every year and we are close since we went through my dad’s dead together ( i have sisters but they were small at the time).
my mum met this really good guy and got married 5 years ago, he is great and my sisters love him. last time i was home after our engagement my mum made a comment about him walking me down the aisle and as soon as she said that my heart sank. not only because i havent even thought about it but because once more i realized i dont have my dad with me.
i dont want anyone to forget i had a dad and that i missed him, also in my heart it just doesnt feel right. i dont feel he is taking my dad’s place but in reality i have only see him when i go over to visit them. he is a great guy dont get me wrong but i feel that he was not there when i was young and he doesnt really know me, i dont wanna hurt his feelings or my mum’s but i feel i need someone close to me who knows me and knew my dad and knows what i am feeling :(. but i have been thinking may be in a few years when i see the photos it will be right that my mum’s husband is there with me 🙁 i dont know.
since my mum is married now i dont want to make him feel like he is not important enough so i was thinking to have them both walking down the aisle together as the parents of the bride and my in laws as well. and my 2 sisters to walk me down as they share my sentiment for my dad and it would be a tribute to my dad his 3 girls sharing this moment.
dont know i hope i am not been to hursh on my mum and her husband what to do any ideas?
Post # 3
I think what you’re suggesting is a good idea. But you are not stumper close with your stepfather, so your mother shouldn’t expect him to walk you down the aisle. Do you have another male relative who you are close with? My mum lost her dad just a few days before she turned 20. She had her brother walk her down the aisle, it was really nice to see the video.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room
You can have whoever you want walk you down really. It seems pretty obvious that having your sisters walk you down has more sentiment than having your stepdad do it.
Post # 5
Why not walk down by yourself?
My friend had her brother walk her down the aisle and had her first dance with her mom. It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.
Post # 6
I agree that having your mom or sisters or someone else very close to you would be better, and if you do mother-son and father-daughter dances, maybe dance with the stepdad then? But also maybe realize that you mother may have always pictured herself watching you walk in and down the aisle and doesn’t want to miss out on that by walking with you.
My dad is still alive, but as he’s older I’ve thought about what I’d do if he passed away before I got married. Both of my grandfathers died before I was born, and my next door neighbor who was like a grandfather to me passed away a couple years ago. I’m not close at all to my mom’s brother and my dad doesn’t have any brothers (and neither do I, just one sister). But I’m really close to my sister’s husband, I was in grad school classes with him while they were dating and engaged and I got to know him as a person and not just as my sister’s husband. If my dad for some reason wasn’t able to make it to my wedding, I would ask my brother-in-law to walk me down the aisle. As it is, I’ve asked him to escort my mom in, both so that he’s part of the family and not sitting up front waiting for all of us to come in (my sister’s a bridesmaid so she’ll be in the back waiting to walk in), but also so that he can be with us till the last minute and help wrangle their daughter, our flower girl, who will be just under two 🙂
Post # 7
Go with your sisters! I would be so touched if I saw that, having lost my dad as well. If I were at your wedding I’d be sobbing uncontrollably LOL
Post # 8
I am going to walk down the aisle by myself but will be doing the dance with my step-dad maybe you could do that??