Post # 1
Hey there! I haven’t been very active on these boards, but I have been a member almost a year. Anyways, I love my hubby to death. We have a great relationship with no serious issues.
He loves getting back massages, but it is like pulling teeth for me to give him one. It is so weird. I just don’t feel like rubbing his back ever. After him asking for a few weeks I will give him one and I feel like I watch the clock the entire time.
I need advice on what I can do to make myself more enthusiastic about giving him massages. I love him and want him to be able to de-stress. He really deserves it.
I feel so stupid posting something like this. lol
Post # 3
What is it that makes you feel that way? its too exhausting? you feel like you are wasting time??
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2011 - Clark Gardens
Can you work out some kind of trade? Rub his back for X amount of time and then either switch – or he takes you out to dinner – or empties the dishwasher?
Another idea would be to give him gift certificates to get a professional massage.
FI isn’t crazy about giving me massages either so he’ll buy me a pedicure instead. Or something like that.
Post # 5
@CanadianMermaid:I guess I am just lazy and once I get into bed I wanna sleep….that sounds so selfish….
@highwire:Bartering sounds like a great idea, but he does so much for me anyway, I feel as though I should do it without being asked and enthusiastically. I know when my feet hurt from work he rubs them, no questions asked and he is happy to do it…
Oh, he is also very frugal about spending money. He would rather invest in a vibrating back massager wand than pay for massages. lmao!
Thanks for your suggestions.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2011 - Clark Gardens
All the more reason to get him that as a gift! Things that people would never ever buy for themselves are good presents 🙂
Post # 7
What’s the reason he wants a massage? If it’s to be closer to you and it leads to other things I definitely think the “exchange of favors” could work.
If he’s just stress and likes the feel, find him a masseuse! You can get relatively inexpensive massages from someone who’ll do a dang good job.
Edit: k, I just read your last. Maybe get him a gift certificate so he has to use it for that? Otherwise I don’t know–maybe get some massage oil that you really like the smell of and play music so you have something else to focus on?
Post # 8
Do you use massage oil? That sometimes makes it easier to massage than if you aren’t using anything at all….
I don’t think there’s anything that will make you like giving them – except for embracing the knowledge of how happy it makes him.
Post # 9
Thanks for all of your responses and suggestions! I may purchase a spa gift certificate as a surprise. (maybe i just need to buck up and rub him down the rest of the time!)
Post # 10
I actually find giving massages to be super relaxing. I like the quiet and the focus of it. Then again, I took a relaxation massage course a while back, and it helps when you feel comfortable with all the basic techniques.
Maybe buy some yummy smelling massage oil to use on him? In my class we always used massage oil with a little almond oil mixed in and it smelled just heavenly.
Post # 11
I agree with the exchange of favors. It works fabulously for us.
Post # 12
@oracle: I second this. Using massage oil makes it way less effort, and moisurizes hands at the same time.
Post # 13
Personally, I find giving someone a proper massage, i.e. with a decent amount of pressure, to be the most exhausting thing ever! I don’t know how massage therapists do it! I want to give FI massages to help him relax and make him feel loved, but he needs me to really dig and put all my weight into it, and after a couple minutes I’m absolutely wiped out. It also doesn’t help that I have really weak arms – no upper body strength whatsoever. (It’s totally not the same for him giving me a massage – I barely need any pressure at all, and he’s a big strong guy.)
Anyway, I like PPs’ ideas. I don’t really have any to add, but I wanted to let you know I think I know how you feel. 🙂
Post # 14
Ooooh I feel you on this one! I don’t mind doing it but I get lazy.
Can you get a set-up going in front of the TV? I always find giving massages much more pleasurable for me if I’m watching a good movie at the same time. I give my FI a back massage/scratch almost every night and I don’t mind because I’ve got Gossip Girl or Supernatural going in the background for me to focus my mind on.
Post # 15
These are some super ideas ladies! It’s also nice that I am not alone!
Post # 16
I guess I am just lazy and once I get into bed I wanna sleep….that sounds so selfish….
Maybe changing when the massage happens will help. I have a massage table and don’t mind giving them, but when I go to bed, I am not laying down because I want to get back up and give someone a massage. Maybe setting aside some time earlier in the evening to do the massage and separating it from your desire to sleep will help.