Post # 1
Looking for tips:
Breakdown: Long distant relationship w/FI, we will be having a short engagement (3 months, I know crazy) he proposing when I visit at Thanksgiving(boy can’t keep a secret) so we haven’t announced the engagement yet. But have a wedding date, and planning some for a bit. Wedding will be casual and simple. 3 BM, 3GM, couple kids. Most out of state.
During our relationship, we had a lot of drama with my extended family (Family drama that had nothing to do with us that we sorta got blamed for) Some support us, others will be kind come to the wedding but will never help. During this, I had to change from my childhood church and main support to a new one. I had always expected to use them to help me. Most still support me, but after all the drama only do it quietly. My new church, I know will help where they can, but because I’m new I’m not sure what to ask for help with. I’ve only been there a very short time and will be moving away so quickly after moving there.
I have no mother, only 1 sister local, that will help some but is limited; step dad not involved and tons of siblings to far to help with anything. My aunt & uncle who step in as substitute parents (he ask uncle for my hand in marriage) have a daughter who might be engaged any day now. Will be busy with the planning their own wedding.
My FI and parents, will help where they can from a distant. Basically the bulk of the planning falls on me. I only have 3 months. I’m a simple girl and want a simple wedding. I’m a tough girl too who been quite independent, survived cancer, a nightmare childhood and many other dramas (I could write a book). But planning a wedding feels like climbing Mt Everest wearing flips flops to me! I feel unprepared. Lol It might be all in my head.
In our church culture wether I like it or not, everyone comes invitation or not. I know lots of people from other churches. So it will big not matter what. I need this support anyways because my whole support system has been shaken. Even if they eat punch and cake only I will not “Not invite” them.
My question is what tips do you have to help me keep my sanity planning a wedding basically alone In a short time. Anything that helped you? I want a stress-less (no such thing as no stress wedding) wedding, I don’t want to overwhelm my FI. I know I will have lots of help the week before the wedding it’s the leading up to the date I’m getting overwhelmed with.
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Can you afford a wedding planner? You say you’re a simple girl, but I think you’ll still have quite a lot to sort out. And without much help it can be stressful. I would consider getting a planner or at least a Day-of coordinator.
Congratulations, by the way!!! 😀
ETA: Is there a reason for the short engagement? If there’s any way to extend it, that would surely help ease up the pressure on you. But I suppose there must be a good reason.
Post # 4
@prahajess: Thank you!!! No I can’t afford a full time planner. Day of I plan on having , I have a few friends or cousins I could ask to do it so I can be left alone. Simple as in, I don’t need perfection to be happy, I won’t have tons of decor, tons of tiny details That are must happen. More practical then simple I guess. I was always the one who executed the jobs at weddings not manged it. So the management and decision making freaks me out. I want my wedding to be nice, I can make the decor, do this or that. But if I have to choose between this bm dress or this, roses or lilies, chicken or beef…. I’m freaking out. Short engagement has part to do with the drama, believe me I wanted to extend it. But it tearing my FI to pieces not to be right here with me through the drama and personal attacks I received. We would of eloped or got married there had I not been so stuborn and firm I wanted a wedding here in my hometown. Longer would just drag out, once decisions are made I can excute with no problem. I’ve made some so far, dress ordered (that was a chore for me lol) and colors for the wedding lol. But even my BM are still up in the air! Lol
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
You sound pretty tough! I think you’ll manage it all. And the Bee is a great place to get quick answers and suggestins when you’re confused or need a second opinion.
Post # 6
Most people can easily plan a wedding on their own. You can do this. It helps me to make a list of things that need to get done (the big things should be done first-vendors and dress.) It feels great to get things crossed off the list!
Post # 7
@Jacquelinesc84: Honestly, a short planning period can be a blessing in disguise.
You won’t have time to get fixated on tiny little details and waste two weeks on one unimportant detail.
ps Congratulations on the impending engagement.
Post # 8
@prahajess: Thanks! I’m finding its a useful tool!!! Never hone so helpful!
@ieatunicorns: Good idea! I’ve started this now!!!
@julies1949: True and I would!
Thanks for the support and Encouragement!!!!
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
You can also join one of those wedding sites that have checklists. You might spot something you hadn’t thought of.
Post # 10
Given this information by accident. The person didn’t know I was struggling. Wanted to share with others.
Basically they said this, ask the “expert” friends. Since I know what I basically want and I’m struggling to make decisions, ask the “experts”. “Expert” friends, are friends who may actually may do this for a living, hobby or just passionate about the subject. For instant, you may have a friend who is a florist, you are not asking them to do your wedding but you can come to them and ask should I use lillies or roses? They can help give advice that will be helpful. Or talk to fashionable cousin, if he thinks the guys should wear bow ties or ties, vest or suspenders. Since he passionate about it he will give his advice. Ask a cake friend, how much cake do I really need?
She also said go to them ahead of questioning them and be honest. Ask them to be your “expert” friend for advice. Be honest, tell them you need advice about this subject and ask if you can come to them with questions. They maybe the one actually doing the flowers but even if a vendor is doing it, they maybe the go to person about this and that. Keep on subject when talking (don’t talk about details on the BMs dress with cake friend), don’t bombard them everytime you see them With questions. Schedule times to talk So they are prepared. Make list of questions or pictures to show.
Remember this one thing, its your wedding, if your “expert” friend prefers roses and think lilies are ugly and you are love the bouquet of lilies you saw on Pinterest go for it. Just because they say it doesn’t mean you have to do it. If they give you a reason, for instants that flower wilts quickly and most commonly not used in bouquets because of that but suggest 3 other very similar looking flowers you might want to take their advice.
one last bit of advice, picking your “expert” friends who have similar taste. They will help you more even if they are not more experienced then your other friend. If you have 2 friends who like to decorate over all, pick the one who more your style. If ones a glitter & bling girl and one is a more floral go with the one that fits your style.
Figure I’d share this advice with others it was a big help.