Before TTC

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
2627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

No suggestions for tests, but I think it may be a good idea to ask your DH to come to the appt and sit in on the discussion of TTC as it relates to your ages. This way you are both there to hear what the doctor says so you two can discuss it intelligently. Otherwise if you hear cautionary tales from the doc he will be there to hear it in person.

Post # 5
Member
2627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@kay01:  He doesnt have to come in for the exam, just the conversation piece.  And I am sure they will allow him to come in. Be sure to tell the nurse/doctor at the beginning of the appt that you want to discuss TTC and your husband is there and would like to step in for that conversation

Post # 6
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

We are in a similar place. TTC discussions are ongoing, but Mr. LK isn’t there yet. When I went for my annual appointment a few weeks ago, I talked with my doctor, basically asking her if, based on her knowledge of me/my health/my history/my age (33.5), there was anything that I should know about/be aware of/do differently/etc. My doctor responded that as a woman in good health there is nothing that she forsees as an issue in TTC. She suggested that, if/when we decide to go for it, I immediately start prenatals with folic acid and DHA. I also talked with her about wanting to lose some weight before TTC and she advised that, as long as it wasn’t some crazy diet, it would be perfectly safe to lose throughout our TTC timeline. She also said that they wouldn’t even do any testing until we had been actively TTC for a year without success. Honestly that’s fine by me because our health insurance does not cover any infertility-related testing or treatments. So I’d rather not spend that money upfront.

Post # 8
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

@kay01:  I think you may want to start with getting to the root of his desire to delay. If it’s truly because he thinks it will be no problem to get pregnant and carrying to term in your late 30s, that’s one thing. You can maybe start with some information about fertility changes as you age, research on increases in certain pregnancy and child related issues as you age, etc. The statistics alone may be enough to clue him in that you do not have an eternal fountain of youth going on here.  But it almost sounds as though he may not be ready yet. Based on the limited info posted here, it seems like he still has a life that he wants to lead that is child-free for a while longer. And if he is simply not ready, then the fertility information is a moot point. You wouldn;t want him to jump into fatherhood if he’s not ready, so why add the pressure of impending fertility issues into his decision-making mix, yaknow?

For us, it’s that Mr. LK doesn’t feel ready yet. He’s in the middle of making a job change and is worried that he won’t have enough time at home to be the kind of partner and dad that he wants to be. Nothing about my fertility (or any lack therof) can change his worries about adding a new member to the family. So for me it would be pointless at this time to know what my egg reserve is or anything like that. He’s just not ready, fertility implications be damned.

Post # 9
Member
1118 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@lovekiss:  +1

Before we were TTC I spoke to my dr about it and she said the same thing to me.  As a “fairly” healthy woman she didn’t expect I’d have any issues.  I was 35 at that time.  She was very non chalant about it and didn’t even suggest any testing or anything.  I was 36 when we started TTC and we got BFP on our first try….. so I guess she was right.

Post # 11
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I agree, see if he will come with you when you go to the doctor…I think you will both find that waiting might not be in your best interest….it would be better if he heard it from the horses mouth. 

Post # 12
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

@kay01:  Your first paragraph describes Mr. Lk perfectly. He doesn’t do change well, he’s constantly worried about money (we earn a comfortable living with stable jobs and healthy savings each month), and looks back at his Mom’s struggles in raising him as a basis for his decision on our current family life (because he doesn’t want me to struggle the way she did, which is sweet, but I raised Teen LK on my own until he was 12, so I can handle struggle thankyouverymuch).

If you know your doctor will “side” with you, then it may be worthwhile to have DH accompany you to your appointment. But what if your doctor thinks it’s no big deal and says so? Will your fears be calmed, or will your DH have more “evidence” for your POV while you continue to stress over things? Just something for you to consider so you don’t end up feeling blindsided in the appointment.

I know, for me, that although my doctor said she doesn’t forsee any problems, I am still a mess of nerves and fears that we won’t be able to conceive, I’ll have miscarriages, etc. My doctor’s ease didn’t actually help my emotions. lol

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