- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
I have been really anxious over the above questions for the last year or so. It has all kicked into high gear after I found out, last October, that I have problems with my fallopian tubes. So, in the last year I have been shuttled from doctor to doctor with many ultrasounds and hospital procedures in between. My latest specialist appointment was today, where they decided to refer me to another specialist (…). This is already taken a year and I am no way closer to understanding if I am fertile/infertile or what the proper course of action is to take. Needless to say I find this very upsetting and stressful. My FI and I aren’t even TTC right now as we are still young (25) but I am so worried that if I wait to have kids until I am ‘ready’ (which would be in my 30s) there will be so many complications and hoops to jump through, as right now everything is pointing to IVF, that I won’t be able to have the large family I always wanted. But, if we really give it our all right now, I am afraid I won’t be able to have the career I have dreamt of.
Right now I am finishing my M.Sc in Biochemistry and teaching, but I am hoping to apply to the Midwifery program for entry this coming September (in Canada it is different then the US – midwifes are independent practitioners and work both at home and in hospital as part of an integrated health practitioner team and in the next few years they will do all ‘well woman’ care too like BC prescriptions and Paps). The program is 4 years and very intense, much like the MD program with 1.5 years of class and then class + 2.5 years of internships which would involve moving throughout my province. Definitely not an ideal time to raise a small child!
To sum up: I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I am sitting here crying in my office, just so stressed out about it all. Being a woman is hard sometimes and I wish my path was clearer. I feel that no matter what I choose I will regret something! Any sage wisdom or thoughts? I could use all you have.