Being bullied at work, what would you do….long

posted 3 years ago in Career
  • poll: What would you do if you were me
    Go PRN and get the heck out of there : (12 votes)
    24 %
    Turn down the promotion, hope it resolves and count down till move : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Strap on your big girl panties and fight no matter what : (34 votes)
    68 %
    other: please explain : (3 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4441 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    @kansas_nurse:  Is there someone above your boss that you can bring this issue to?

     

    Honestly, I’ve stayed at a job where I was being bullied by upper management over a promotion and I ended up getting picked apart until I was fired, it wasn’t a positive experience (obviously) and 3 years later I’m still VERY bitter about it.  So I can’t really suggest sticking it out.

     

    At least see how the meeting with your boss goes, hopefully they have come to find that this is a serious problem.  You ARE the person for the job, they are jealous, and your boss needs to handle them.  Based on what your boss says at the meeting, then I would make the decision about when to move.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3777 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Time to document everything and go to HR.

    Post # 5
    Member
    42510 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would meet with the boss together with someone from HR and put them on notice that you expect them to deal with the bullying. I am quite sure your workplace has a policy and they are expected to enforce it.

    Have a list of specific incidents with you, give them a copy and set a date for your next meeting for them to report on the progress they have made.

    If you list specific incidents, it takes away the bosss ability to claim that these are ìnterpersonal conflicts`when they are in fact bullying.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1184 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @littlemisst08:  This.  

    I’d make sure I had a record of everything said/done/dates it occurred/times/who all was present/dates I talked to my immediate supervisor/etc.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    901 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    You need to contact HR, you have given your boss many times to step up and they havent. Bullying is NOT okay. Please contact HR, they will help you, its their job (they want to help you)!

    Post # 8
    Member
    5445 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @julies1949:  +1

    And when these grown adults make rude/bullying comments to your face, I personally would stand up for myself with a firm “excuse me?” while staring at them and not letting them have control. They’re jealous, and people put others down to make themselves feel better. Show them through nonverbal and very calm, but firm, verbal communication that you are not going to tolerate this behavior. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2614 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @littlemisst08:  

    @stuckinwonderland:  +1

    Have you recorded the incidents so far? If so, make an official appointment with your boss (to show you are serious) and tell her that you want to take the complaint further, through official channels. She will start listening to you then. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1892 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @kansas_nurse:  DO NOT let these horrible people get to you! They are obviously jealous that your getting the promotion! Be the bigger person and ignore everything they say! I know words hurt.. But its gonna annoy the hell out of them when what they say and do, dont bother you anymore. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    4218 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Yes I have been bullied at work, horribly. In healthcare fr sure, but again in a middle management position elsewhere. Man, people resent the shit out of you when you have to run the show. 

    If you are a nurse, do you have a union? Also involve your HR and record every single time someone is bullying you. If HR does not deal with it, and your union does not deal with it or you don’t have one, bring it to the human rights comission, or sue your employer. You earned this job. 

    Healthcare, ugh. I have smack talkers at work too. I guess people missed that chapter on expectations of professionalism?? 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2222 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Document everything! Dates, times, direct quotes of what is said…

    Don’t let them win.

    When you talk to your boss, tell her you expect to come out of your meeting with an action plan. hold her accountable for helping fix things. If she says she’s going to talk to them, ask for a date and time and follow up with her. When she doesn’t take action, document it and go to HR.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1007 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @kansas_nurse:  I agree with the other Bees–document, document, document! Even if it’s jotting down what’s being said by whom, and at what time/date. Write it ALL down, from the comments, the situation, and the steps you’ve tried to take to resolve it (going to boss, HR, etc). If they do not resolve the issue in a reasonable amount of time, you may want to consider legal action, and speak to an attorney.

    You deserve to be treated with RESPECT, not ridiculed, bad-mouthed, and bullied. Best of luck to you. *Hugs*

    Post # 15
    Member
    448 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I don’t really have a whole lot of advice, but I just wanted to say, as a fellow nurse, that is bullshit how you’re being treated.  Those nurses are obviously jealous of you and the fact that your boss wants to promote you.  Unfortunately as nurses, we work with a bunch of other women and there are plenty of women out that are a bunch of catty bitches.

    I would document as much as you can, go to HR and bring these things up to them and that your manager hasn’t really done much about it.  If it doesn’t get resolved, honestly, I would personally find another job, because things around there will likely not change and it’s not right to be so bullied at work that you come home crying everyday.  If there is such a conflict, they should be able to switch around schedules or do something so you do not have to work with those catty nurses.  Sorry you’re going through that.

    Post # 16
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee

    Go to your union rep!  As a charge nurse you should still be covered by the union (it’s supervisors and higher that are not covered by the union).  They help deal with these things all the time, that’s what they’re there for, not just all the pay and benefits/retirement stuff you hear about where strikes are occurring.  In fact, most of the hospitals I’ve worked at, I’ve seen the union reps assisting with staff conflicts so it’s not an unusual thing for them to deal with.  Unfortunate that it’s so common in our career, but at least your rep should be familiar with what to do.

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