(Closed) Being called a ball buster (and other b words)

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Which would you prefer?
    strong and completely hated? : (36 votes)
    56 %
    weak and absolutely adored? : (18 votes)
    28 %
    mild and utterly invisible? : (10 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I thought of this pin when I read your post

    Post # 4
    Member
    77 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @subtlebee:  That’s easy. When guys aren’t sure of themselves, regardless of the situation, they tend to be intimidated by people who are.

    Most guys violently reject the idea of being intimidated by a woman, and try to degrade the woman in such a way that they can feel superior to her for other things.

    If you have a forceful personality, that’s most likely what’s happening.

    The solution?

    I’m not sure how to begin to accurately express my feelings about this kind of behavior on here without bannination, but basically I would call out any guy who feels intimidated by this; “dude, it’s YOUR responsibility to make sure you know all the stuff you’re supposed to. If she knows what she’s talking about, and you don’t, that’s your fault. Sack up and quit being a huge baby.”

    Post # 5
    Member
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Yay, sexism :(. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Just stay strong and keep being awesome at your job; there’s not much else you can do.

    Post # 6
    Member
    11753 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Those men are most likely intimated by you! It doesn’t bother me in the least if people don’t like me!  No matter what you do, some people just won’t like you. So, you might as well be true to yourself! 

    Post # 7
    Member
    6360 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Me: thick skin and strong opinion. Bullies don’t like it. The feeling is mutual.

    Post # 8
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I picked strong and hated but can’t it be strong and loved?  In my former job I was the only chick working there with 10 guys.  I find that as long as you aren’t a prude, can tell a dirty joke, are smart and strong, and do your job .. i’ve done just fine.

    Post # 11
    Member
    75 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @subtlebee:  May I ask what field you work in?  I studied/work in aviation and am the only woman at my workplace, and I experience a lot of the same reactions from some men.  I’m rather petite so I don’t think anyone would call me intimidating but I’m sure there’s been plenty of men skeeved out by the fact I tow and refuel airplanes for a living and fly them on the side.  I’ve been looked at like I have three heads.  /:

    I picked strong and hated, but I think that over time, your male peers will come to respect you rather than hate you.

    ETA: I doubt they actually hate you.  It just sounds like they’re not the most tolerant people, or just trying to ruffle your feathers. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @subtlebee:  that sucks.  I have four brothers and no sisters so I was used to being pretty sarcastic and aggressive with guys.   You must be intimidating the pants off of them.  Do not change … they are just going to have to grow up and deal with a strong woman.  Hang in there 😀

    Post # 13
    Member
    2861 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @subtlebee:  I’m not voting because I don’t think that anyone necessarily needs to  make that choice. You can be strong and liked.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2861 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @subtlebee:  I work in a 90% male environment too.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3626 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @nycsa:  +1.

    I work in a male-dominated company right now and I’ve worked in both women-dominated and men-dominated departments and honestly, I don’t think it is this black and white. I’ve always been strong and voiced my opinions, but with my male-dominated groups and colleagues, I’ve always been one of the favorites (and yes, it’s mostly based on my personality, not looks/outfits/etc). I think you can be strong and effective without being hated. If anything, i’ve actually found this to be more true in women-dominated departments, where the other women would be very passive aggressive if you were a strong, confident women.

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