Being friends with your ex on Facebook? WWYD?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Being friends with an ex on Facebook is....
    disrespectul to the new partner : (51 votes)
    22 %
    no big deal : (66 votes)
    29 %
    dangerous : (10 votes)
    4 %
    depending on the intentions : (94 votes)
    41 %
    other [comment] : (9 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    i’m friends with an ex on fb. we split amicably, and we were in high school. it’s been a while, and i’ve always had him as a friend on fb. i don’t see the issue with it.

    he’s obviously insecure about it. and that’s why he doesn’t want to have you on his fb friends list. maybe someone said something and he got upset?

    Post # 4
    15014 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I would just accept it and move on. She may not be saying anything, he may just care about not putting her in a position to be uncomfortable, which is very admirable and sweet of him. 

    Post # 5
    957 posts
    Busy bee

    It probably depends on the person specifically. Personally, I would not be comfortable if my FI kept in touch with his ex by phone calls once in a while to catch up, sending each other silly pics on WhatsApp once in a while and mails here and there.

    Not that I’m the jealous type, or that I don’t trust my FI. But it just doesn’t sit well with me at all. I wouldn’t know what was going on in the mind of the ex.

    It just doesn’t seem right to me especially since you said you were very serious with him.

    Maybe she said something. I probably would have.

    Post # 7
    6448 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @tksjewelry:  +1

    I personally wouldn’t care but I can see how others might. She might not have even said anything to him and he is just looking out for her.

    Post # 8
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee

    I had the same thing happen to me. His new lady friend was uncomfortable with me despite me dating someone else for a year. I was annoyed more than anything because we were great friends and I thought it was obnoxious. On the other hand I understood where she was coming from since he had asked me to leave my boyfriend at the time several times for him.


    Sometimes people just need the closure.


    Respect his wishes. As silly as they may be.

    Edit: as for how I would feel about the situation, it toally depends on the intentions behind it. DH is friends with a few exs/people he used to date on facebook, and I don’t really care. However he was also friend with his crazy ex. She would message and call, I trust him 100%, but was not totally comfortable with it because I, and everyone else knew that she wanted him back despriatly (to the point where she called ME crying asking how he could do this to her). I knew he wanted nothing to do with her, but wished her no ill will either. She was actually the one to unfriend him…. the day after we got married *eye roll*





    Post # 9
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I think it is admirable that he is thinking of his girlfriend, put yourself in the flip side. If your SO added an ex-girlfriend you might be a bit curious as to why.  Facebook isn’t reality anyway… if you still keep in contact with him through email now and then, that is better than a fb “fake” friendship.  🙂




    Post # 11
    3828 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I am friends with all my exes on FB. But i have kept on good terms with them. My most serious ex even commented on a photo i posted “wow i cant believe you are really married! so happy for you!”

    i thought it was nice of him. No threat. If she is the jealous type she might have an issue, but i see that as a sign of immaturity. I was even going to have a drink with that one ex and asked my DH if he would care. Nope.  We have no trust issues. 

    Post # 13
    11300 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    It depends on the circumstances. Generally, I am of the mindset that a breakup means no contact.

    If my ex had Facebook, fuck no. DH’s ex? Fuck no. Shitty relationships with shitty people, culminating in shitty breakups. There’s no reason to keep those people in your life.

    However, I have no experience with an ex that isn’t bad. DH has friends who don’t understand why I think being friends with exes is gross/why it upsets me that they’re friends with his psycho ex, but these are people who’ve only ever had good/clean/amicable breakups and don’t understand what a bad breakup is.

    Post # 14
    9019 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @tksjewelry:  +1.  Agreed.  OP, move on.  Some relationships were not meant to last forever and your ex obviously feels that way.

    Post # 15
    802 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

    I was friends with my ex for almost a year after we broke up on Facebook, and when I realized it was still affecting me moving on, I deleted him (he also had a girlfriend about a month after we broke up).

    Then…. when I felt that I was in a stable place and really over him, I readded him. We were on friendly terms and kept in touch every once in awhile. 

    Then I met my SO, and my ex and I stopped talking completely, and I really don’t care to have him on Facebook anymore. I know it slightly bothers my SO (even though he doesn’t have FB himself). I just feel stupid to delete him again and it’s interesting to just to see where he’s at in his life. It’s all silly really… Facebook in general. 

    I get where your ex is coming from, to ‘re-add’ each other when he is dating someone new, just might be weird for the new girlfriend. I wouldn’t read into it too much. 

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