(Closed) Being handed an unsealed, unaddressed invitation…what would you think?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you be upset?
    Yep. I'd feel like an afterthought. : (15 votes)
    15 %
    Guess I'm on the 'B' list. : (23 votes)
    23 %
    Just RSVP as if it was mailed to you. : (30 votes)
    31 %
    It's OK. It happens! : (30 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    762 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We did it with close friends who we see several times a week. Also planning to do it with 2 guests whose invites never got there. I personally think they lost them but both guests live in the same zip code… My FIL s wanted to add some coworkers, took forever to get the addresses, then lost them! I said well, just give them to them at work. I have other things to do at this point; our wedding is 6 wks. away!

    Post # 4
    Member
    581 posts
    Busy bee

    Kinda tacky.  How hard is it to put their name on the outside envelope?

    Post # 5
    Member
    13102 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Personally – I don’t think that’s very appropriate for a wedding invite.  If you really feel like you have to hand-deliver them (although I’m in the camp that thinks wedding invites should actually go through the mail) they NEED to be sealed and addressed.  Besides, how do they know exactly what individuals are invited if it’s addressed to no one?

    Post # 7
    Member
    5978 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I did this to someone I worked with. He started with us after we had sent our initial invitations out. He fit right into our group and was tons of fun, so I handed him an invitation about 2 weeks prior to the wedding. I just explained that we had become close after I had sent my invites out (8 weeks prior to the wedding) and I’d love for him and his girlfriend to come, but would totally understand if they didn’t feel comfortable. They ended up coming, catching the garter and bouquet, and now they’re getting married! So glad I did it :o)

    Post # 8
    Member
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I would def. think I was B-list if I received an invite like that from a friend or a coworker.

    – BUT –

    If it’s a close friend or an immediate family member or someone like that who you see multiple times a week – I think having it sealed & addressed with a posted RSVP but still handing them the non stamped outer envelope is fine.

    Post # 9
    Member
    762 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Haha. I guess I’m tacky. Embarassed I think it also depends on your relationship to this person.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    HA 8 weeks? I’m not even going to get my invitations to begin the process of addressing them until 6 weeks before, probably won’t be able to mail them until 4 weeks. Whatever at 8 weeks out you aren’t B list because it’s not past her RSVP deadline or anything like that. Just RSVP and don’t get offended. You got invited to their wedding – be happy about it or, if you really find it tacky and you’re offended, don’t go.

    ETA: ahahaha just saw your update with more details. that would have been good to include in your original post. yeah now you are definitely B list. i wouldn’t even go if I were you.

    Post # 12
    Member
    435 posts
    Helper bee

    Isn’t it really proper to hand deliver all wedding invitations?  In some circles it’s considered declasse to mail invites:-)  Not any I am in by the way!!

    Post # 13
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    At the very least I’d expect it to be sealed with my name written on it.

    If it was someone I saw all the time I could understand them just handing it to me (rather than sending it) but why not put my name? It’s like the person inviting me wasn’t sure they were going to give me an invite or not and just decided at the last second.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1732 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    8 weeks is normal invite timeline, but I would still feel a little B-listy.  I like getting them in the mail, I guess.

    Post # 15
    Member
    683 posts
    Busy bee

    Honestly- I wouldn’t go- the whole vibe seems unorganized and unthoughtful on the part of the host due to the fact they haven’t given you ample time to make arrangements. I wouldn’t want to trap myself/spend the money on a destination wedding with poor planning.

    However I wouldn’t mind the whole B list thing with budget and space contraints that couples face with wedding planning.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1732 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I just read your update about all other invites going out in March.  That is so not cool.

    I’d send a gift and be done with it.

    The topic ‘Being handed an unsealed, unaddressed invitation…what would you think?’ is closed to new replies.

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