(Closed) Being Mentally “Present”

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club

Sorry this isn’t in direct answer to your question, but I’ve been thinking about this same thing. The Conscious Bride website is pretty good; it’s all about “being present” for your wedding. She also has a book I haven’t ordered yet, but it gets pretty good reviews.

Post # 4
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

I had the same worry about my wedding day.  I wanted to make sure I felt totally *present* and “in the moment” during the day.  I’ll admit, there were definitely times that felt kind of surreal during the day, but I really tried to overcome that.  There were a couple of times where I though “wow, this is a fun wedding…why am I wearing this white dress?  Oh right…” I tried to make sure to take the time to really look around and concentrate what I was saying/doing.  I made an effort not to really talk to my friends/family and not be so concerned with wedding day details.  It wasn’t easy, but I do think it helped me really enjoy the day.

Post # 5
Member
468 posts
Helper bee

Thanks for the website. I’ve still got about 15 months til my wedding day but this is definitely something I’ve been thinking about already. i really want to be able to enjoy my day. 

Post # 6
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

wow this is something I have yet to think about….I totally hope I am there in the moment rather than it all passing me by! oh goodness….minor freak out about to happen in T-minus 1 minute…lol

Post # 7
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Erindesmar,

We have the same wedding day!  Wheee.  We are almost at the 2 month mark, hard to believe!

This is such a good question!  I think to some extent it is such a big day with so much focus ON YOU that in some ways it is inevitable that it will feel overwhelming, emotional, even surreal.  Many of my friends say when they were married they weren’t able to eat at the reception because they were so busy.  I would say first off MAKE SURE YOU EAT because you’ll just get all spacy with your blood sugar plummeting.  And, if you are anything like me you won’t be eating a lot before the wedding due to nerves!

I’m a yoga teacher and practitioner and meditate often as well, both of these are practices in being mindful and present and just like with anything, it takes practice.  I would think trying to be fully aware and present for teh wedding day without some practice is like- well- expecting to run a marathon with no practice beforehand.  Not possible.  So I’d recommend practice.  This is also something I’m trying to do for my own wedding. 

Carve out some time for yourself a couple of times a week where you are not DOING but just being present.  IT doesn’t necessarily have to be doing yoga or meditating, even just taking a walk or sitting in the park.  While you do this, take note of your surroundings and try not to let your mind wander too much.  Stay focused and when you get distracted, come back to your breathing.   

Good luck and keep breathing! 

Post # 8
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Erin, you just nailed a huge issue.  So much comes at you so fast… and there is a lot of happiness, tears, anxiety, beauty, shyness and all kinds of stuff all rolled into one.

I *knew* this was going to be a struggle for me, and I wasn’t wrong.  I kept taking an emotional snapshot every so often to make sure I remembered the feelings of the moment… but I also listened to my impulses.  I wanted to wave at and acknowledge my friends, so I did.  I wanted to hug people so I did.  I did hold back the tears somewhat, but only so that it wouldn’t turn into an ugly cry!

Also, after the ceremony, we did a photo session with just spouse and I.  It was this glorious time with beautiful light and no one else around.  I think that was my most precious part of the day!  You can definitely tell from the photos down by the river that he and I were just absolutely reveling in the moment– together and by ourselves 🙂

Post # 10
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ditto. I just make it a point to remind myself to stop. I have somebody’s whose job it is to remind you to enjoy the moment.

Post # 11
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House

I’m going to suggest the mister and I look out for each other and ensure we’re both taking in as much of the day as possible!  Thanks for this thread, because it’s definitely important to remember — our shower passed in a blur!

Post # 12
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Thanks Erin for this thought provoking thread.  I too sometimes with all that’s going on don’t feel “present” in things day to day and definitely want to feel all I can feel in the actual wedding planning up to the day of!

 

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