Post # 1
I got a comment on here the other day about how if I was planning a wedding we must be engaged. It got me thinking what constitutes an official engagement. My SO and I made a decision a while back together that we knew we wanted to get married. I made it clear that I would be happy to marry him ring or no ring, grand proposal or no proposal, or anything in between. He said he liked the idea of us deciding together that we wanted the same thing out of this relationship, but that he still wanted to get me a ring and propose.
I get frustrated when we all try to label each others relationships. I know what my relationship is. We’ve known for a long time now that we are going to get married, and we made a decision together to start planning the big stuff like the location and date. We are not “officially” engaged because it is important to my SO to do it the way he feels is “the right way” (not that I think there is anything wrong with doing it another way, or judge anyone else for doing things differently, just his choice).
Anyone else do things out of order and want to share why, or share why they don’t give a flying f#@$ what order everyone else thinks things should be done in?
Post # 2
I say, screw everyone and what they thinks should occur first. My SO and I arent engaged yet, but I have been looking into pricing and venues. Like you and your partner, we’ve discussed marriage and a future together. No one else is in your relationship besides you two, so no one else can possibly understand it’s dynamics. That’s why sometimes I have a love/hate relationship with this site, you’ll come across Bee’s that can be the most supportive/respectful people and then you’ll come across those that are so aggressively opinionated and rude. Like honestly, some of these girls are vicious on here. Ignore them, and continue your life, because no one else is living it but you. Good luck!
Post # 3
nattiejeanne: Even though all your plans are totally not my style I can’t help but love all your ideas for your wedding. I personally am the girl who liked have an “offical” proposal. FI and I have been planning our whole life let alone our wedding together for years. I honestly wouldn’t have care if he did it with a a ring or not but it was important for us the way we did it. It isn’t like your some chick plannign a wedding your SO doesn’t know about your both 100% in this together thats what matters. There is no right or wrong way just whats best for that couple.
Post # 4
I’m not a wedding gal really but me and my FH have been discussing marriage for years and so I would occasionally look at venues and pricing etc. However, as much of a non-traditional marriage person I am (and I did not cry during the proposal) I still somehow feel differently now that it’s official. I never thought I’d feel that way, but it’s very strange.
We somehow are closer and even the planning process seems different. I don’t know, let me know once he does propose and if you get the same feeling.
But really, you are the only ones that know what your relationship is really like so do what you feel is right.
Post # 5
Of course it’s up to you how you feel. But I just don’t get people planning a wedding not being engaged. You make a decision to get married you are engaged to be married. Proposal or not. That is logical to me, anything else I just cant get my head around.