Post # 1
So me and my boyfriend moved in together about 3 months ago. We have been dating for roughly a year and a half and he had given me somewhat of a timeline of a year after we have been living together. Well due to financial reasons we are unable to get a place of our own and instead have moved in with his parents until we can save enough money. About a week ago after a night of drinking I asked him if he still saw the same timeline or if the fact that we were not on our own would change it. He said that he wants us to be living on our own before we start thinking about engagement. I got kind of upset at the moment because I already am kind of annoyed about the fact that we weren’t able to get our own place and that it is affecting our progression in the relationship. I wonder though, is he being the sensible one wanting us to be on our own or did something change and he just is delaying our timeline? I am not the girl to pressure him at all but after all this time hearing that it would happen after a year of living together it kind of bummed me out when it changed.
Post # 3
This seems to be a typical problem.
You need to make your feelings clear without offering an ultimatium. You feel somewhat tricked. If living together was a priority to him to get to the goal of marriage it would of happened.
Post # 4
I think he is being sensible. Living with parents is nothing like being out on your own. If you guys can’t afford to rent an apartment, you shouldn’t be thinking about engagement yet anyway. Just enjoy the fact you are no longer 2 hours away from him.
Post # 5
He’s not tricking you. You both had a plan, things did not work out due to yours and/or his finances, so the plan must be reevaluated. He’s trying to be sensible.
Post # 6
Thanks guys for your responses. I can see that our plans change so obviously the engagement plans would change too. And it probably is for the best that if we can’t afford to be on our own right now engagement shouldnt be a priority.
Post # 7
@MrsTVLover: +1. This exactly.
Post # 8
Rest easy. He is being sensible. I would be shocked if any of my self-respecting male friends would even entertain the thought of engagement while still living with parents to save money.
You’ve only been living together for 3 months, and at his parents’ home. Bringing up engagement may be very suffocating for him as he is worried about money issues as well. This may be so even if he loves you to death and cannot imagine being anyone else!
My advice is to re-explore this about a year after living at a place of your (both of you) own.